poem from deep inside me

@earz Said
ETERNAL BLEEDING

i don't feel it,
i'm numb to the blade ripping at my skin,
i can't feel the pain i should,
i can destroy myself without crying
or screaming out,
nothing matters.

i stare at the blood,
my blood, seeping through the gapping cuts,
spreading into the patterens on my skin
and every dent on the knife.
the dense liquid solidified quickly.
it darkened.

i sat for moments,
while the clock spun representing hours.
i re-opened the wounds,
pushing the blade deeper.
still no noise: no pain.
deeper and deeper, trying to provoke a reaction.

the enemy of tenptation urges me
to tear at my skin,
let more blood free.
i watch myself bleed.
a beautiful disater.
the red liquid flowing from me,
carrying the pain out.
it'll heal, but i'll always remember.
the wounds in my mind will always haunt me.