Quickies

@rondetto Said

I tried counting sheep to get to sleep last night.
I got to 500 then lost interest so went home from work and got into bed.

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Some people thought my plan to design a building with a two-kilometer corridor would be a fleeting hobby, but I'm in it for the long hall...

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The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death.

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First trip booked for 2024. Off to Iceland in March…
If that goes well, probably looking at Asda in April and Tesco in May!

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There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a bar.
suddenly, the drunk stands up and yells, " ATTENTION ALL "and farts loudly.
The wife is extremely embarrassed, and the husband looks at the drunk and " excuse me, you just farted before my wife. "
the drunk replies, " i'm sorry, i didn't know it was her turn. "

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Paddy and Mick find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the Police station.
Mick: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
Paddy:"We'll say we only found two!"

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A guy just drove past me and threw a piece of cheddar cheese at me
I thought to myself, “That’s mature”

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