Dietary Genesis

In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long, healthy, and happy lives.

Then using God's gracious and bountiful gifts, Satan created lushus ice cream and doughnuts, mounds of cheesecake, and cheeseburgers. And Satan said, "You want hot fudge with that?" And Man said "Yes!" and Woman said, "I'll have another with sprinkles." And lo they gained TEN pounds!

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."

And Satan presented crumbled Bleu Cheese dressing and garlic toast slathered in lard and butter on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you hearty healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to lightly saute the wholesome vegetables. You may also roast them if you wish."

And satan brought forth deep fried coconut shrimp, chicken-friend steak so big it needed its own platter and pools of gravy, and chocolate cheesecake for dessert. And Man's glucose levels spiked through the roof.

God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might loose those extra pounds.

And Satan came forth with a cable tv with remote control so man would not have to toil changing the channels. And man and woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretchy jogging suits.

Then God brought forth lean meat so that Man might consume fewer calories in the diet and still satisfy his hearty appetite.

And Satan then created the 99-cent double cheese burger (notice what 99 is upside down!), and said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size'em!" And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created the quadruple bypass surgery.

And Satan created HMOs.

To be continued...

Keep in mind that this just covers the story so far. We can only imagine what the years ahead have in store.