Some gems

@rondetto Said

Teacher said to Tommy "Have you got a brother ?"
He said "No miss but my sister has."

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A prostitute says to Paddy: "Would you like to have sex?"
Paddy says: "Ok, but only of you do it like my wife does."
She replies: "I can do it an way you would like, so how does she do it?"
Paddy replied: "She does it for free."

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When I get something stuck in my throat I dislodge it with a nice cold beer.
It's called the Heineken maneuver.

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I was working on a crossword and asked my girlfriend , “What is a word for overworked Postman?”
She asked, “How many letters?”
I said, “Probably thousands.”

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Someone asked me the name of the Inspector from the Pink Panther movies.
I don’t have a Clue, so need help.

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Paramedics were called out to a man who had his manhood stuck inside a vacuum cleaner.
He said that the relationship with the vacuum was purely sexual, as he didn't want any attachments.

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My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline. She hit the ceiling!

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I'm now 20 hours into my sponsored semaphore marathon.
Unfortunately I'm starting to flag quite badly.

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