Mother fights to stop daughter calling her stepmother 'mum'

Mother fights to stop daughter calling her stepmother 'mum'

* Caroline Overington
* From: The Australian
* March 07, 2010 11:30PM

A mum has taken her ex-husband to court to stop her daughter calling his new wife "mum". Source: AAP

* Argument over stepmum's title goes to court
* Couple split when baby is four months old
* Mother argues dad "attempting to replace her"

AN Adelaide mother went to court to prevent her daughter from referring to her ex-husband's new wife as "Mum" or "Mummy" or "my other Mummy".

'The woman, who cannot be named, argued that her ex-husband was deliberately undermining her role as their child's mother, by encouraging his new wife to answer to the terms "Mum" and "Mummy" and "Mummy-D" (D being the first letter of the stepmother's first name.)

The battle has been going on for almost as long as the child has been able to speak. Her parents separated when she was four months old.

The Family Court case sets a precedent for Australia's million-strong blended families, where arguments over who is to be called what are commonplace.

In the Adelaide case, the mother, known in court documents as Ms Klement, argued that the stepmother should not be permitted to refer to herself "as a motherly figure".

By consent, her ex-husband agreed that his new wife should not be "Mum or "Mummy" but thought "Mummy-D" was fine.

The mother said the father was "attempting to replace her as the child's mother by encouraging the child to call his new wife "Mum". She said the new wife would sign the child's school notes "Mum" and take the child to medical appointments, where she "presented herself as the mother".

Ms Klement was "adamant that the child should only call her Mum" or any variation of "Mum".

The stepmother rejects the accusation that she presents herself as the child's mother.

The court declined to make an order that the child not refer to her stepmother as "Mummy-D" in part because the judge was concerned that such an order would lead to further litigation "where it would be up to the court to determine whether the father had breached the order in relation to encouraging the child to use the term Mummy-D".

The court also expressed hope that the child would grow out of "Mummy-D" and begin calling her stepmother by her first name.

It was the only dispute between the separated couple.

All other matters, including where the child should live and go to school, and how much child support should be paid, had been settled in pre-court mediation, after more than six years of litigation.

The parents have a shared care arrangement.


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What do you guys think?

The judge said'as reported on radio,"The biological mother should have the only right to be called mum, however it was only a label"

I wonder if then 'judge'is only a label and if he would be offended if everyone could be called that, or in particular he was not addressed that way

I would think it should not matter if she is a good step mom to be called Mommy D. Of course the child knows that shei s not her biological mom and the stepmom is married to her father.

I would think if it was beng done out of love it is fine. They say it takes a village to raise a child and if the step mom loves the girl then it is even more love for her and just another person to help the child in life.

I can understand feelings of someone else raising or having a part in your childs life but as long as it is not done out of malice, it should be accepted.

I would want my child to have a loving step mom over a horrible one any day.

As far as I'm concerned the one who is raising the child is entitled to be called "Mum". That is the title for the role she fills.
If that is a shared role, then so is the title.
I can see no harm if the girl has two "Mums", she is hardly alone in that these days.
It in no way denigrates the biological mother, if she is a good mother she will want her daughter to be happy, in ALL the aspects of her life, not just the part she is responsible for. It seems to me this has more to do with petty jealousy and spitefulness, "baggage" in effect, and it saddens me to see it dragged through the court.
The Judge EARNED his title, motherhood is a biological event, pity we don't have that level of training and experience as a necessity before we are allowed to be parents, it would certainly make for a better world, and happier children!


I have a friend in a similar situation, but amicable, and the boy they share has his Mum, and his "Um-Mum", his childish verbalisation of "Other Mum", and it stuck. it satisfies them all, and he gets love and emotional security in BOTH homes.

Who does the child reside with?

I suppose it's down to the child to call mum who ever she's most comfy with.

I see why the bio mother is kicking up a stink though, I wouldn't let no other b**** take my child on like that.
If she wants kids so desperately then have your f***ing own!

Apparently the child resides with the natural mum and the parents made a joint decision at the time of breakup that no-one besides themselves were going to called mum/dad.

This should have been respected to say the very least.

It happened to me when my parents divorced, the tart my bio father took on made me call her mum out of spite towards my real mum, she did alot of vicious things and me being a child I had no idea what she was doing was wrong.

My sister is going through it to, she divorced her husband in 2004 and he's recently moved in with his new girlfriend who has 3 older children (all late teens), my sister is seriously not one to do battle with when it comes to her children and I think this woman may learn the hard way lol!

Although I do find alot of women who take on partners with children really do think they have the right to undermine the bio mother, I'm not saying every woman does but there is a mad fair few who do this.

It's a stupid game to play!

I do not want my child calling anyone mom but me.
I am his mother. I gave birth to him.
His father's new girl has NOTHING on me as far as mothering goes.

ridiculous waste of money and legal time.

Sounds like the mom is very insecure

8) I never had to actually face the question, my ex disappeared within months of giving me the kids, god bless her black heart!
I never after met a woman I loved, and my kids would NOT have accepted her even if I HAD, they have told me that since they grew up, they LIKED it JUST the way it was. I guess for them "Mother" became a dirty word, emotionally. Sad, but just as in my own case, a rotten parent has made my daughter determined to get it RIGHT, and she will make an excellent Mum in due course.
In that way, a bad parent can be just as good an example as a good one, but you learn what NOT to do.

How old is the child?

I think it should be his/her choice on what to call his step-parents. My Mum wasn't happy when she heard me call my Dads wife my step-mum, but she HAD to accept it because I call my step-father Dad.

However, if the mother has custody I wouldn't allow the other woman to take the child to the doctors or write notes to school.

As long as the child knows it is loved, I don't see the problem.

And what's wrong with that?

I kinda contradict my own rule because my mom isn't my biological mom, but I call her my mom because she has raised me from infancy when my mother abandoned me.

But as long as I'm in my child's life and doing my proper job as a mother, why SHOULD I let another woman take the mom title from me?

I don't think they should have gone to court though, but I, personally, would have a seperat talk with my ex, his girl, and my child(ren) about what I think.
I wouldn't attack any of them, but I would explain how I feel about it, and my feeling is that I don't want my kids calling another woman mom.

I wouldn't let them call someone new I was with Dad.
Because he's not their dad. They have a dad who is still in their lives.

What else will they clog up the dockets with?