Mother fights to stop daughter calling her stepmother 'mum'

I agree with you, in an ideal world it would be great if the child could have harmony with essentially 2 sets of parents that care a great deal for her.

Like I have said before I don't think that jealousy is the big issue but we don't know for sure Equally could not the stepmum and dad back down before allowing this to go to court.

Mediatation is required in our family courts before a hearing to trym to reslove an issue so given that one would have to assume it has fallen on deaf ears.

I think your last statement is probably spot on

You seem to be leaping to a lot of assumptions, I didn't read any of that in the story.
You know my attitude to parenting, and that I have an adopted son as well as two "naturals", so please accept that I will ALWAYS put the child's happiness, security, and sense of self-worth first, above all other considerations. If life had lead me down a different path, I WOULD have accepted my kids calling another man Dad, as long as he WAS behaving as a proper Dad to them, I faced that thought and prepared for it before I was given custody. I have known many happy children who have prattled on about their collection of parents, and most of them were/are quite comfortable with having TWO Dads or Mums, or BOTH. That's hardly RARE these days, but how often do you hear of utter tripe like THIS hitting the courts?
I have only EVER known ONE person who would pull a stunt like that, my ex-sister in law, she dragged my brother into court so often over such trivialities that she became the first person in the state to be LEGALLY BANNED from initiating court-proceedings, she was deemed a "Vexatious Litigant"!
My brother threw a PARTY!
AND invited HER!
Strangely, she didn't turn up, must have been busy or something!

'New' wife is a relative term, considering it states that this has been a problem since the child could talk.

My Dad has a 'new' wife, but they have been married 12 years!





EXACTLY!
Unfortunatly breaking up means that their will be (most likely) other people in the childs life, that the child looks up to, and loves.
Hardley anyone has the 'normal' family these days

Didn't OP or someone here mentioned that there was a promise or understanding between the two saying the child should not have a new mom?

Of course that would be avoid if the child IS told of the biological mother but the child has more affections towards the dad's new wife. Calling mom in this situations isn't bad at all.

But if the child was brainwashed or was never mentioned of the biological mom and FORCED to call the dad's new wife mom or made to do so, then it'll be unjust and it is more of child psychological abuse.

If the second above, then there are reasons to dispute for a lawsuit but then there are no legal bindings to actually favor one over the other or takes their words for granted.

Yeah, I reread that part but it does say that this battle has been going on since the child was able to talk. That puts the child around 1 or 2 years old doesn't it? And since it doesn't say that the stepmom wasn't there, just that it wouldn't have been an issue since the child wouldn't have been calling her anything...she couldn't talk. So, as a toddler, what do you call the woman who's married to Daddy?

Their first name. Or Miss _____.

Yes there was an agreement between the two bio parents at the time of seperation that no one else was to be called mum or dad. Just because a relationship sours that does not negate all previous agreements.

Sorry Marcus we have to agree to disagree on this one, we both know our values and stances on parenting.You also know that I put my kids first and foremost.

My quote starting with 'we don't know'. An assumption would not begin with that would it? I think you have made assumptions that the mother is acting out of "ego' and 'jealousy'" not out of something else

I have already stated that it's sad it's gone to court because even then the step mum and father can still encourage the child to use the term mum etc with no policing or consequences.

I appreciate your sentiments of what you would have done had this situation eventuated in your life/circumstance, but as with many things, until you are actually faced with this and have to live it, it's almost impossible to understand.

Tough one. My oldest has two Moms. From when he started talking he called his biological mother (my ex) Mommy and called me Momma. And to this day he'll tell anyone who'll listen how he has two moms. We split up when he was 2, and he is still a part of my life and still calls me Mom...Momma sometimes, but he kinds grew out of it lol.
At the same time... if/when my youngest baby's dad gets a girlfriend (and DAMN I wish he WOULD to get him outta MY hair! ) I will NOT have her have anything to do with the way my son is raised. The dad still has a lot to prove as a father in my eyes anyway, so no way am I gonna let HIM let someone ELSE have any say in it!

But they're family. They're not the kid's kindergarten teacher.

That was my opinion, too. At least about the Miss ______. Some of my friends had stepdads and they called them by their first names but they were already older when they met the new husband...I can't imagine doing that with a toddler. Just seems wierd. I understand they had an agreement but...what a wierd agreement.

I agree.

I call my moms sisters by their first names.

It's never been aunt Lisa, aunt Laura and aunt Jenn.

It's always been Lisa, Laura and Jenn.

And my cousin calls his parents by their first names.
My other cousin's step daughter calls her Miss Maggie.

I don't think it's that big of a deal to call a family member by their 1st name.

If my dad remarried I sure as hell wouldn't call the woman Mom. That's a slap in MY mother's face.

Plenty of stepmums have a nickname used by their stepchild to address them.

I think it is very weird to be ok with another woman being called mum by your child, toddler or not.

Mum is a learned word just like any other so the toddler could be taught to call the stepmum anything at all, it certainly appears in this case the child has been "encouraged"to use the terms mum, mummy or Mummy D.

I know a hell of a lot of families where it is the norm that the titles mum or dad be reserved only for the bio parents.

Apples and oranges. You're 16, not 2. You have a complex relationship with your mother that you understand. A two year old doesn't have that complex of a relationship with his/her mother. It is not a slap in the face from the 2 year old. It may be a slap in the face from the father and/or stepmother but we don't know the details.