Giving soap (rather "fancy", for example from Crabtree & Evelyn)

Actually it appears this is a grandson. Yea, i would think a grandson (or a godson) would get a better gift than a friend even if he is 28. Grandparents don't suddenly like their grandchildren less just because they are over 18.

I wouldn't interfere with what any person bought their grandchild, or child, no matter what age they are. It's their personal relationship.

And to the OP - your title is confusing. Is this a fancy soap like from Crabtree and Evelyn, or NOT a fancy soap like that? It seems that your title is saying yes, fancy - i can tell you that nothing in Crabtree and Evelyn is cheap. I woudln't assume that soap didn't cost a good little bit if it came from a store like that.

Well, they were from a fancy department store (something like Sak's Fifth Avenue).
Again, maybe she overreacted because what she really felt (more than not liking the gift itself) was that she put no effort into picking her gift (and it did seemed like she did put an effort into picking A's gift), again this is a very very close friend, L was even M's maid of honor at her wedding.

Its things like this that make people not enjoy the holidays, when a gift - that for all one knows might have been picked from the heart and what she thought was a good one - is examined this closely and bitter feelings result.

If i get a gift from someone, i just appreciate the sentiment. I can buy things i want or need all during the year, so gifts to me are just nice little extras that shows someone thought enough to buy something and wrap it, and give it to me.

Again I din't explained myself good, I think. It wasn't my friend who got her godson the cufflinks, it was the godmother's friend who got her friend's godson the cufflinks:
L: Godmother
A: Godson
M: Friend to both, got A cufflinks. A is L godson, not M's

That's what I mean, we spend more on those closest to us and less money on those who are not as close or not family, at least for the most part.

Yep, I agree with you completely.

I am more confused than ever. You said grandson in one post, now godson. But that aside, I still am pretty darn confused, but it seems a lot of fuss is being made out of nothing.

I think L is being petty, IMHO.

Oh right. Okay. Yea if she has a signature brand then that would have been better. So yea, it was kinda of tacky. That's too bad.

I wonder if the friend knew that was her preference tho.

It just seems like one of those things that would make me not want to exchange gifts anymore.

Please, I would like to explain again the relationships between the gift givers and receivers here:
The godson we are talking about ("A" ) is godson to "L", but it wasn't "L" (the godmother) who got him the cufflinks, it was "M" who is just a fiend to both, she is neither A's godmother nor related to him whatsoever, just a friend. I would never argue about what the godmother gets for her grandson for Christmas and I've never have, but this situation is completely different...

True.

I think some people just fail at gift giving. Like they just don't worry about it as much as others. So they tend to give what appears to be "thoughtless" gifts. It's just not that important. Oftentimes the receiver doesn't like it or whatever and gets upset.

People also need to remember that it's giving more than receiving and recipients should be thankful they got anything at all.

If she doesn't like the soap, return it for something else, or regift it.

L'Occtaine is really high end stuff.. A box of three hand soaps from one of their better collections can run as much as $50..

This was hardly a tacky gift. Perhaps not quite the right gift, but certainly something of value. If she doesn't like them, I would suggest that she re-gift them to someone who appreciates quality.

how about everyone adopt a penguin next christmas?

I would be so offended if I got soap as a gift really because it would show people don't know me at all as I have a soap bar phobia