A Pagan dies and, to his great surprise, he finds himself standing before a
set of pearly gates. St. Peter asks him, "May I help you?"
The Pagan asks, "Where am I?"
Peter says, "You're at the gates of heaven."
"But I don't believe in heaven," says the Pagan.
Peter frowns at him. "You're one of those Pagans, aren't you?"
"Yes. I believe I'm in the wrong place; I'm supposed to go to Summerland."
Peter says, "Sorry. We took over Summerland, and it's temporarily closed for
remodeling."
"What should I do now?"
Peter says, "Well, since we don't allow Pagans in heaven, you have to go to
hell. Sorry. Just follow that path that leads downward and to the left."
The Pagan walks down to hell, where the gates are standing open. He walks in
and finds beautiful meadows, happy animals, and clear streams of water.
He walks on in and begins exploring, and after a few minutes a courtly
gentleman walks up to him and bows politely. "Hello, I'm Satan. You must be
the guy that St. Peter phoned me about. Are you a Pagan?"
"Yes, I am. What's going to happen now?"
Satan says, "Well, the fishing's pretty good, if you enjoy that sort of
thing. There's a little refreshment stand down the road. And I believe the
Pagan meeting grounds are right over the next hill."
Suddenly, a hole opens up in the sky above, and a yawning chasm opens
directly underneath it. The stench of sulphur fills the air. Hundreds of
screaming, tortured souls drop down into the flaming chasm, which
immediately closes up with a thud.
The Pagan, hardly believing what he just saw, asks Satan, "And what was THAT
???"
Satan rolls his eyes. "Oh, just ignore them. They're Christians; they
wouldn't have it any other way."
May 04, 2006 @ 13:38:39
