A few more

@rondetto Said

Husband: "Babe, after work I had an accident. Sabrina took me to the hospital. After various tests, they said I was in a bad state with cervical dislocation, multiple facial injuries. Also, they will have to amputate my right leg."

Wife: "*** you're leg, who the hell is Sabrina?

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Mother, father and son were having dinner, and the boy wouldn't eat his sprouts. Mother says "Son, eat your sprouts."
"NO" said the boy.
The father leans over and whispers in the boy's ear. The boy then quickly eats his sprouts and goes to his room.
The mother says "What did you say to him?"
The father says "I told him his willy wouldn't grow any bigger if he didn't eat them !!!"
The mother slaps the father around the head! He shouted "What was that for?"
The mother replied "For not eating your sprouts when you were a child!!"

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"A plastic surgeon's office the only place where no one gets offended when you pick your nose!"

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My first wife was of native American origin, her name was "Four Horses"
Didn't take me long to figure out what it meant
"Nag Nag Nag Nag"

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A man answers the phone and has the following conversation:

"Yes, mother, I've had a hard day. Colleen has been very difficult - I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is. Yes, I know you warned me. I remember you told me that she was evil and would make my life miserable and you begged me not to marry her. I should have listened to you. You want to speak with her? All right."

He looks up from the phone and calls to his wife in the next room, "Colleen, your mother wants to talk to you!"

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A 3 foot 3 inch man knocked on my door this morning.
I said 'Who are you?'
He replied 'I'm the meter man'

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