More Funnies

@rondetto Said

Gary: "Your new secretary is very sexy...."
Larry: "Thanks! She's actually a robot named Doreen....
If you squeeze her right breast, she takes dictation & if you squeeze her left breast, she types letters.
Will work as long as you like, no complaining, no sick days, no medical, no dental appointments.
I'll lend her to you for a day & you can see how functional and efficient she is."
Next day, Gary calls Larry from the hospital & shouts:
"Larry..... You ***!
You didn't tell me that the hole between Doreen's legs is a Pencil Sharpener..."

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I walked into a strange pub and saw all the customers were covered in angry red spots.
Then I realised it was a shingles bar.

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"You're going to have to change the ringtone on your phone," my wife said to me.
"What's wrong with The Final Countdown?" I said. "You know I love that song."
"You work in a Nursing Home for gawds sake!" She replied.

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