Need some advice on how to deal with friends who disappoint

I have a few friends who I considered my "bests". I recently got married and moved about 2 hours away. When I was getting ready to move, they were all making plans to come out and see me. I have been here for 3 months and none of them have come out. They all have really stupid excuses. Whenever they know I am going to be home, they bombard my phone with texgt messages asking when I am going to come and see them. I refuse to go. If they cant come here, why should I give up my time with my family to go see them? AM I wrong? How do I handle this situation? Im beginning to think that We are only friends if we live in the same town.

they dont want to come to you, you don't want to go to them. dump them already and make new friends since obviously noone wants to put in an effort here.

two hours is not like 15 mins. takes a really good mate to stay in contact at that distance I'm guessing.

Thanks! In the first 2 months that I had moved away, I always made time for them when I came back to see my family. It has just been in the last month that I havent seen them. Its funny because they wont come out here but they are furious with me for being home over the holiday weekend and not seeing them. We have a mutual friend that lives in South Carolina and she told me that all my friends are home were mad at me. I am trying to find new friends here but it is a little difficult. I am not working and the only people I am meeting are the wives of my husbands employees and they are all about 30 years old than me!

Actually kasabian, 2 hours is nothing where we live. Most towns are about an hour away from each other. We usually did a 2 hour drive just to get to the nearest mall.

Well someone needs to make the first move so if you really care about your friends that much you should go see them...

I had almost the same exact thing happen to me and it finally worked out once I swallowed my pride and went to visit. The next time we talked about hanging out I was able to remind them that I came to visit last time.

You make friends where you live/work etc.

You will naturally lose contact with people who move away or if you move away.

Move somewhere nice (Spain in my case) and lots of people want to come visit. I guess to have a cheap holiday.

After a year or two those people just stop coming.

However, my true friend, who now lives in Sweden, I have known across 4 countries and over 35 years. He, his family and friends are always welcome to visit me at anytime and the reverse is true. Recently, one of my karate students went on a visit to Sweden and he made arrangements for the persons stay, providing lodgings and people to go out on the town with. When his son came to me, I arranged for some of my 17/18/19 year old students to meet up with him for some nights out. He even stays in my house sometimes when I go abroad.

It's funny though, when we return to the UK the "half friends" don't seem to have done anything new. There is never any "news". It's almost as though we never left!

My real friends have plenty of new things to talk about and seem to have a completely different outlook on life.

Compromise. Is there some way for you guys to meet half way? Or make a plan to take turns visiting each other.

O I see. in the uk a 2 hour drive is more like.... 3 hours

My biggest problem with them not comign out is that my husband and I just bought a new house and I would really like them to see it. I was around for all of them when they were buying and moving in. I have done more painting and wallpapering than I care to remember. They are all "too busy" to help me with my house.

so then tell them that!!! Guilt trip and throw a fit at them into coming. Remind them how you were there for them and they aren't returning the favor! Tell them they are being bad friends. lol they might feel bad and visit. Make them pay their dues like you did!!

A two hour drive there and then back again is sometimes a bit much for some people in one day. Have you tried inviting them for a weekend. The drive doesn't seem so bad then.

And like some others said, its a two way thing, you will also need to make the effort to visit them too, again maybe over the course of a weekend.

I have to be honest.....my inlaws moved away and it was at least a 2 hour tricky journey to visit them. It was a whole day out and costly on fuel too. we would mostly visit when they held a BBQ or something and was more of a family get together.......they moved back after a couple of years. I do agree with the others that a your friends do need to make the effort! I have friends local who dont visit but that dont bother me......I go to their houses instead and get waited on.....

Sometimes, that's just the way it is!!
Sorry you had to find out this way..but at least you can make yourself some new friends, hopefully, some 'real' ones..

It's really rude of them in my opinion, to even 'ask' you to come to them! You'd think they'd want to come and see your new home..

..Yeah, like the other poster said ~ dump them.