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rondetto On about 7 hours ago




Wrexham, United Kingdom
#1New Post! May 15, 2023 @ 10:39:26
I asked my boss, "Can I get a couple of weeks off for Christmas?"
"It's May," he said.
I said, "Sorry. May I get a couple of weeks off for Christmas?"
___

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!"
She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella!
___

I don't do Scandinavian jokes…
There's Norway I'd stoop Oslo as that!
___

I phoned the local paper to put a classified ad in.
"How much is an advert?" I asked.
"£1.50 per inch," they said.
I said, "Forget it, I'm selling a thirty foot ladder!"
___

I met Paul McCartney on the Isle of Wight ferry this morning, I asked if he had a ticket to Ryde.
___

I was playing a trumpet outside Asda earlier when an elderly lady approached me and said, "That's excellent, especially with no music sheet, do you always play by ear ?"
"No," I said, "I'll be outside Tesco tomorrow."
___
I'm playing cricket against my local fish & chip shop later.
Their fielders and bowlers aren't that good but their batter is brilliant.
___
Darkman666 On about 16 hours ago




Saint Louis, Missouri
#2New Post! May 15, 2023 @ 18:35:49
@rondetto Said

I asked my boss, "Can I get a couple of weeks off for Christmas?"
"It's May," he said.
I said, "Sorry. May I get a couple of weeks off for Christmas?"
___

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!"
She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella!
___

I don't do Scandinavian jokes…
There's Norway I'd stoop Oslo as that!
___

I phoned the local paper to put a classified ad in.
"How much is an advert?" I asked.
"£1.50 per inch," they said.
I said, "Forget it, I'm selling a thirty foot ladder!"
___

I met Paul McCartney on the Isle of Wight ferry this morning, I asked if he had a ticket to Ryde.
___

I was playing a trumpet outside Asda earlier when an elderly lady approached me and said, "That's excellent, especially with no music sheet, do you always play by ear ?"
"No," I said, "I'll be outside Tesco tomorrow."
___
I'm playing cricket against my local fish & chip shop later.
Their fielders and bowlers aren't that good but their batter is brilliant.
___


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