in love with my best friend whos straight

london, Canada

May 05, 2008 @ 08:22:06

I?m in a really bad situation right now and I need some advice on what to do. Ok. So I?m in love with my best friend who?s straight and has a new girlfriend whom I dislike a LOT. (In the past they?ve dated, but broke up). Since the last two weeks, all we did was argue about this girl. I kept telling him that he wasn?t making a good decision because of the things she does and did. Well I?m also REALLY jealous. Before he started to like her again, we did everything together. We told things that we wouldn?t tell anyone (I didn?t tell him I was gay though) and we always hung out at each others houses (or slept over). We?ve been best friends for a year now and I started to like him after probably less than a month. After a couple weeks went by I started to like him even more and then I started to love him after 3 months. Anyways about my situation? During those two weeks of arguing, a couple of times he told me that he didn?t want to lose me as a friend over her. But his words don?t match his actions. He has been ditching me for her a lot. I know that he?s 80% straight and that I will never have the chance with him, but I really do love him and I want to stop. I know I?m probably going to get ?just move on? replies, but please help me. Thanks (by the ways, sorry if this is too long)

0

semi_precious_stone

, United Kingdom

#2

May 05, 2008 @ 08:38:33

Look, if your mate is straight let him be. Think about it, weould you rather have him in your life as a friend or not at all.

When someone gets a new girlfried/boyfriend it is natural they spend less time with their friends during the 'honeymoon' period.

Basically, this is a 'move on' response, because if you don't do that you are going to break up a friendship that means a lot to you. Once you accept the fact that he is never going to be more than a friend your feelings should return to just seeing him as a friend. If they don't then maybe it is time you put some distance between you and him?

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madi

, Australia

#3

May 05, 2008 @ 08:51:54

Maybe you should put yourself in your friends posistion. What if you had a female friend who was secretly in love with you even though you are gay. How would you feel if you were with a guy and in love with him and she constantly put him down and told you that you should leave him?
Unfortunately you only have two options here. Either accept that you can only ever have him as a friend and stay out of his relationships, or tell him how you feel and risk losing him forever. If you dont chose one of these things, the pain you feel is only going to grow and make you bitter. You're just torturing yourself otherwise.
The situation sux and I wish you good luck with a difficult decision.

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butterflygrl

Deleted

Fairfield, Ohio

#4

May 05, 2008 @ 13:41:51

I agree with both answers. Just love him as a friend and don't worry about the girlfriend. You'll get to hang out with him eventually once the "honeymoon" phase is over.

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unluckysurprise

Nottingham, United Kingdom

#5

May 30, 2008 @ 12:39:31

my friends going through the same hes bi fancies our friend were not sure if hes gay/bi. ive told him im gonna tell him im fine about telling him because ive asked him about would he care he doesnt i havnt told him yet hes on holiday.... the best thing to do would be to find out then if he wouldnt ins tell him, he should then reveal his true sexuallity. but there isnt a girl in this one im getting ditched because my friend wants to be with him....

0

unluckysurprise

Nottingham, United Kingdom

#6

May 30, 2008 @ 12:40:40

*mind

0

jordan_bo

doncaster, United Kingdom

#7

Jun 02, 2008 @ 16:38:41

the same happened to me he diched her and that night we made out 8)

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kylejason

Las Vegas, Nevada

#8

Oct 21, 2008 @ 02:11:30

just tell that your gay and you like him maybe he feels the same way and just because his dating doesn't mean his 100 percent straight

0

franki

, District of Columbia

#9

Nov 09, 2008 @ 13:07:29

wow!!!
Does he know you're gay?

Maybe you should let up off of him
and hang out with other friends for a while.
Hangin out with him you're never going to meet
anyone becsuse you're attraction is on him.

0

DraculKuroHemming

Gulfport, Mississippi

#10

Dec 13, 2008 @ 11:19:54

I know the exact feeling... The only thing is that my friend doesn't have a girlfriend (never had one at all, saying that he is saving himself for college or later), and he knows that I am gay... However, I am tyring to avoid telling him something at the risk of not having a memory-erasing machine or something nearby to make him forget what I said so I don't lose him as a friend... I wish at times that I could just get in his head and figure out what he is thinking.. but it is like it is no use... I know he is straight... I mean, granted I am gay, I still look at hentai with him (even though I get no pleasure and I have to wait until a later time to look at yaoi (both hentai and yaoi are japenese terms by the way)) and at times part of me wonder if he is just being himself or trying to convince me to be straight or at least bi. i have trying going out with girls but I just didn't like it because there was never any spark or anything. I just wish I could tell my friend what I really wanted to say without worry of him punching me in the face and kicking me out of his house when I am visiting or just ignoring me over the internet or whatever and losing him as a friend...

0

hope

haifa, Israel

#11

Dec 13, 2008 @ 11:30:39

@sanzo123 Said

I?m in a really bad situation right now and I need some advice on what to do. Ok. So I?m in love with my best friend who?s straight and has a new girlfriend whom I dislike a LOT. (In the past they?ve dated, but broke up). Since the last two weeks, all we did was argue about this girl. I kept telling him that he wasn?t making a good decision because of the things she does and did. Well I?m also REALLY jealous. Before he started to like her again, we did everything together. We told things that we wouldn?t tell anyone (I didn?t tell him I was gay though) and we always hung out at each others houses (or slept over). We?ve been best friends for a year now and I started to like him after probably less than a month. After a couple weeks went by I started to like him even more and then I started to love him after 3 months. Anyways about my situation? During those two weeks of arguing, a couple of times he told me that he didn?t want to lose me as a friend over her. But his words don?t match his actions. He has been ditching me for her a lot. I know that he?s 80% straight and that I will never have the chance with him, but I really do love him and I want to stop. I know I?m probably going to get ?just move on? replies, but please help me. Thanks (by the ways, sorry if this is too long)

you admitted of being gay, does your friend know about it?
if he isn't gay that's mean you got no chance with him exept being only mates. my words could be harsh on you, aim sorry for that . you should think logically otherwise you gonna get hurt in the end.i do understand how painful being in love with someone who might not sharing the same feelings.
i think it's wrong being so attached if there is no way out.

0

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