Learning Spanish

So I'm learning Spanish, do you think these will help?

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: WATER
My girl gets mad and I don't even know water problem is!

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: BRIEF
My wife farted... bad, and I couldn't brief.

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: MUSHROOM
When all my family gets in the car, there's not mushroom .

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: CHICKEN
My girl wanted me to go to the store, but chicken go by herself.

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: JULY
You told me you were goin' to the store and July to me! Julyer!

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: WAFER
I wanted to go with my mom to the flea market but she didn't wafer me!

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: HERPES
I have some cake to share with my wife- this is my piece and this is herpes.

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: TISSUE
I told you if you didn't know how to do it, I could tissue.

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: HARASSMENT
My old lady caught me in bed with my girlfriend so I said harassment nothing to me!

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: CASHEW
I was running after you but I couldn't cashew!

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: BISHOP
We went out to the club and my old lady got drunk and fell down, so I had to pick the bishop!

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: JUICY
Hey, I'm going to eat Paco's food, tell me if juicy him.