Funny answer phone messages

Found a Marvin one (from HGTG) on the net -

"Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm so depressed. I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, but all I get to do is answer the phone. Life. Don't talk to me about life. Just leave your name and number after the beep. Here comes the beep, how I hate that beep, it's so cheery sounding..."

my father in law has "i'm currently out with a local hooker tonight so if you need to reach me contact "candy" on [mobile number]

Seriously

Mine is just the standard "Hi, You've reached the ____. Please leave a message and we'll get back to you as soon as we can. Thank you." Nothing really funny there.

lol

mine was where you say 'hello {Pause}...... Gotcha I'm not answering right now leave a message if your important i get back to you [Pause] If this is Martin f*** off'

Cobber here loved his old answering machine he bought so he could get his calls from his then political people while he slept all day and worked all night.

My favourite message I used I got from a Monty Python computer software...with a little acoustic guitar playing, the following words were sung;

I'm busy
I'm busy
I can't come to the phone
I'm busy
I'm busy
I'm really not at home
So leave your message dear
and I'll get back to you
Everybody wants to meet me now.

One of my brother's told me of his mates answering machine message which as shooting in the background with the message..."I can't come to the phone right now. I'm having a shoot out with the Pigs".