'I can't date you, your vegan' - how months of false hope is finally destroyed

Ok, this is quite hard for me to explain without writing a huge amount, but basicly I met a guy just under 5 months ago, on an online community similar to myspace.

We started off meeting much more than we do these days, and he didn't admit to having a girlfriend straight away (although he said that they had an open realtionship, when he finally mentioned it).

We've had a casual relationship for a long while, but at the same time have been close friends, whilst I always clinged on to the hope of having more; stupid, I know.

Recently, we got onto the topic of why he'd never he would never date me (whilst on msn). The main reasons are that we have little in common, we don't 'click' when we're together, and also that me being vegan is cute as friends, but in a relationship he would get annoyed by it. He actually went back on the first two points, especially the first one, which just confused me even more. (Not once did his girlfriend get mentioned).

I guess, he has little respect for me. He expects it all on his terms, and for me to pay for everything. (He also obviously has a lot of other, much prettier, girls he at least talks pervertly with).

I know that I shouldn't be so upset, but I am. His pretty much used me for months and I have no idea what I see in him. Maybe people will read this and think how silly I sound. Well, sorry for making this so long- thanks to anyone who read it all.

I hope all is well and that all fairs well for you.
To those of love lost past a future must arive on the wings of happiness there your love must ride....

-BG

i wouldn't worry, we all get upset by things that we know we shouldn't do...i mean especially blokes we know we like, but shouldn't really or are arses.

I think with these sort of matters you've just got to grin and bear. What dosn't kill us only makes us stronger! Learn from this and move on with a strong nature!

I believe you can move on from this! just hold your head high and show to him that he hasn't brought you down! It dosn't matter what you eat or how you act. If a guy can't accept you way of eating...then he's not worth the hastle.

If he can't be bothered with you...don'tbother with him!

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em; that's what I always say. If I really 'clicked' with someone I wouldn't let veganism get in the way.

As long as I don't have to make a giant tofu turkey for Thanksgiving, that is. I have my limits.

sounds like a jerk

he obviously has little respect for his current girlfriend if he says these kinds of stuff to you, and i don't see how you could hope he'd suddenly gain repect for you if you were in the same situation.

Anyone who says that they'd get annoyed by you personal choices isn't really
worth the effort. It sucks that you had to waste so much time with him, but
take it as a lesson that the one you really will enjoy to share your life with will
except you for everything you are. They're won't be an annoyances, or at least, he
won't tell you because of how much he cares.

Not to mention, you should never get involved with anyone who is still seeing
someone, however casual they are. When dating, I think having focused
feelings for one person is a necessity. Always know that you deserve the best, and the
best is always has eyes only for you.

(sorry for the long response )

A truly good guy would like you for you, not let things like that get in the way. Your time will come.

this guy is obviously a player and a big time liar. don't fool yourself....this guy will never leave his girlfriend for you or anyone else. i would highly recommend stopping contact with him altogether. the only thing he's doing at this point is making you feel worse.

so sorry you're going through this. i think we've all been there in one way or another.

nikalaos, you don't need to apologise for a longer response, what you had to say was worth it being slightly longer... Something that I didn't mention before is that I have pretty low self esteem, which makes me a) apreciate any attention I get from people 'in the real world' b) make it hard for me to say no, and c) make it even harder to back away from people. I'm not using it as an excuse though...

My gf is a vegan...sort of (tis a little blury lol), and it most certainly makes no difference to our relationship.

He's a complete idiot if he can't have an adult relationship with someone just because of dietary restrictions. Is it just vegans he hates or is it other people who have specialist diets?

If something that small can bother him, any relationship with him would never have worked and I think you're much better off without him.

Because you're a vegan?

Oh, I'm vegetarian, I hope that won't get in the way of anything, besides, the girl I like is vegetarian too, so maybe not...

Anyways, I hope it works put for you .

I just thought I'd say that I blocked him on msn. After a few minutes he magicly texted me, and then rang me for the first time ever, despite saying before that he had no credit. Not sure if I did the right thing, I thought of a list of things that backed up why he wasn't right for me;

he never spent a penny on me yet often asked me to buy him lunch etc, he often arrived late yet never apologised, out of all the times I went to his town he came here once (and asked for half the train money), Also, he barely told me anything about his life, he'd invite me round then just sit on his laptop, he'd only ever see me on his terms, he used us not talking loads when we met up as a reason not to date when he never really made an effort...