The Forum Site - Join the conversation
Forums:
Jokes & Humor

A few more

Reply to Topic
AuthorMessage
rondetto On April 22, 2024




Wrexham, United Kingdom
#1New Post! Mar 28, 2024 @ 13:31:51
A man decides to join the circus. He shows up to demonstrate his skills to the Ringmaster.

"I have the most unusual act," he announces. "I'm sure it will amaze you."

He climbs up to the high wire and jumps off! He flaps his arms wildly, and finally his fall slows and the man begins to fly. He soars upward, turns, and swoops back again. Finally, he stops in mid air and gently lowers himself to the ground.

The impresario says, "Is that all you've got? Bird impressions?"

___

My wife says that my willy reminds her of a supermarket.
“Because it’s large, well stocked and always fulfils all your needs?” I asked.
“No” she said, “because it’s Lidl”.

___

I got sacked from the ice cream factory yesterday because l can't work Sundaes.

___

I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today...
I asked her, “When’s it due?”
She replied, “I’m not bloody pregnant you rude ***!”
I said, “I meant the bus you fat b****!”

___

BREAKING NEWS: The English Cricket team have officially beaten the Wuhan street markets with the worst use of a bat in recorded history!

___

My wife is doing an experiment. She's wearing a Man Utd shirt for a week to get peoples reactions. She's been kicked, punched and spat on so far! Christ knows what's going to happen when she actually leaves the house!

___
Darkman666 On about 20 hours ago




Saint Louis, Missouri
#2New Post! Mar 28, 2024 @ 20:50:56
@rondetto Said

A man decides to join the circus. He shows up to demonstrate his skills to the Ringmaster.

"I have the most unusual act," he announces. "I'm sure it will amaze you."

He climbs up to the high wire and jumps off! He flaps his arms wildly, and finally his fall slows and the man begins to fly. He soars upward, turns, and swoops back again. Finally, he stops in mid air and gently lowers himself to the ground.

The impresario says, "Is that all you've got? Bird impressions?"

___

My wife says that my willy reminds her of a supermarket.
“Because it’s large, well stocked and always fulfils all your needs?” I asked.
“No” she said, “because it’s Lidl”.

___

I got sacked from the ice cream factory yesterday because l can't work Sundaes.

___

I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today...
I asked her, “When’s it due?”
She replied, “I’m not bloody pregnant you rude ***!”
I said, “I meant the bus you fat b****!”

___

BREAKING NEWS: The English Cricket team have officially beaten the Wuhan street markets with the worst use of a bat in recorded history!

___

My wife is doing an experiment. She's wearing a Man Utd shirt for a week to get peoples reactions. She's been kicked, punched and spat on so far! Christ knows what's going to happen when she actually leaves the house!

___


Reply to Topic<< Previous Topic | Next Topic >>

1 browsing (0 members - 1 guest)

Quick Reply
Be Respectful of Others

      
Subscribe to topic prefs

Similar Topics
    Forum Topic Last Post Replies Views
New posts   Politics
Fri Jan 16, 2015 @ 19:48
31 8030
New posts   News & Current Events
Sat Nov 26, 2022 @ 14:11
15 5143
New posts   Jokes & Humor
Tue Aug 10, 2010 @ 18:43
3 2050
New posts   Random
Sun Aug 01, 2010 @ 22:18
14 5871
New posts   US Elections
Fri Jul 24, 2020 @ 23:24
77 25317