"I am what I am"  earz
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Mega Über-Meister
3872 points
20/F/ask me, United Kingdom
Join Date: Dec 2004 |
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i'm going to uni in September!
got accepted unconditionally into three courses 
i decided to go to Strathclyde to study biomedical sciences and psychology. i'm all excited. i'm going to move up to glasgow and into the halls.
ooo, also, i have a pretty boyfriend. his name is Sean, and we've been together for 4months now
Current Music: Muse - Thoughts of a Dying Athiest
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i missed two gosh darn partys!! TWO!!!! *breaks down* 
urgh i was going to go as minnie mouse as well. bloody ingenious. i would have looked so pretty.
Current Music: U2 - love ad peace, or else
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well just basically going to spill my guts out on this. do not read further if you don't care.
bit of a rant at myself. i pity myself.
Current Music: weezer - perfect situation
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i've had a crappy day.
- i didn't get to sleep until about 3 am, hence why i'm so tired.
- i had to go get myself some milk from the shop before i could have some breakfast.
-one of my buttons came off my shirt.
-the funeral was ..difficult.
-most of the people attending, i didn't know, and they insisted on talking to me. i was trying to stay in my own company while i was mourning my Gran's death, but no...people kept invading my space. sure i did enjoy the occasional hug.
-i think i ate too muc at the tea afterwards, and now my belly hurts.
so...in general 
Current Music: linkin park - from the inside
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i have been accepted unconditionally for college into the HNC/D course on social sciences, in the hope of studying psychology further in the future...
however, i enjoy writing and literature, so i was thinking about having a career in writing...therefore doing a social science course would be a waste of time!
its too late to back out now, iv arranged my student loan already and accepted the place on the course.
thinking maybe that after a year of the course i could think about what it is i really want to do, and change if necessary.
in the mean time i think im going to go to a writing class with my mums cousin. sounds fun, and it means i get to share my stuff with others who will actually b interested.
for example, i gave my english teacher a story i wrote, quite a long one - it was 12 pages - and she said she read it, but i was kinda looking for criticism and evaluative comments, but she didnt say anything. im quite disapointed actually, i mean i thought at least my english teacher would want to give me help... but obviously not. i understand that as a teacher she may not have time to go over extra work, but why couldnt she just say that? she is a nice person and thats why im so shocked that she's basically just blown me off.
id post a lot more on here, but hardly anybody comments, also i put some of my favourites on myspace, but nobody comments there either.
i just want other opinions on it.
but anyway back to the point...my career. i think id enjoy writing, but id also love to be a psychologist, its just what ive alwasy been interested in, the writing thing is pretty new.
anyway just blogging away
Current Music: the academy is - - - attention
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now my posts add up to one-one-one-one,
im having a laugh and having some fun,
im happy and joyful, i just want to scream,
imagine that perfection, like in a dream!
Current Music: the sound of my mother yelling
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so many people teling me all their problems.
im all up for sharing and all that jazz if it makes them feel better, but seriously what makes them think im gonny b able 2 deal with all that s*** as well as all the stuff going on in my life? im not being selfish, i really love helping people, but 3 people have told me they were going to kill themselves in the last week.
i havnt had much sleep, through just not being able to, and also because iv been so worried about them. i sit up and text them at all hours. like i said before, i dont really mind, but i feel like im actually breaking inside coz of it.
who is there to listen to my problems??
i mean im a rock to others, so who is mine?
hmm, good questions i think
i do have my own problems and this isnt about being selfish i really hope nobody sees this as that, but just wud like sum1 2 b there 4 me
Current Music: angels and airwaves - all systems go
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NOT
i keep sitting in the dark writing poems and drawing pictures of my heart bleeding or getting stabbed/ shot/ squished/ mutilated/ killed/ blackened/ generally f***ed up.
my music is depressing. the mess i made of my arms is making me wanna f*** them up more. my liver hurts. my head feels like someone is hitting it with a hammer using one of those wee voodooo doll thingys. the state of my hair is depressing. the black smudges around my eyes make me look like a psycho clown and i need a gosh darn hug!!!
i have done f*** all studying and my chemistry exam is on tuesday, im going 2 bloody well fail.
the funeral is tomorrow and i still havent decided whether im going or not.
everyone seems 2 ignore me either that or i really am invisible, how about that eh. what fun id have if i knew i was invisible.... hmmm
Current Music: sum 41 - some say
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any complaints?? like it? took me quite a while actually lol  i cudnt figure out how 2 stretch the bkground pics
Current Music: placer - - - waited
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yeh errr i went swimming, and now i cant seeeeeeeee....the chlorine has went for my eyes, and now theyre nipping sooo much n im crying lol
...and whats more, now i have to make my own dinner!! i have no idea how to cook 
HELP NEEDED
between the ages of 16 and 18, male, must be schmexy, must be able to cook, must be up for nudity... call 07 666 666 666
Current Music: wow, i can get sexual too - - - say anything
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