whatsd the best one liners (insults) or kokes u say to people?

whats the best lines u have for people who say crazy or silly things like for example i say
* "lets look threw the round window" lol
* "stuff u up ur a$$"
* "captian obious"
* "u retard u should be wheraring a leatard"
* what a di( k"
* shove it up ur a$$
* ill slam ur di(k in the microwave and put it on high

lol all these things i say usually have people in stiches i also have the kiwi accent so yea it sounds cool so they say lol