I kinda find this interesting.
Dear Husband,
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have
nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your
boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today, and that
was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore -- whatever the case, I'm gone.
PS: If you're trying to find me, don't. Joe and I are moving away
to West Virginia together. Have a great life!
Your Ex-Wife
Dear Ex-Wife,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week -- the first thing that came to mind was, "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with Joe, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that Joe had just borrowed $50 from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for $10 million, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that with the letter you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
PS: I don't know if I ever told you this, but Joe, my best
friend, was born "Joanne." I hope that's not a problem.
Signed, Rich As Hell & Free!
Aug 22, 2007 @ 01:04:29
