@chisa96 Said
Touchy. This stuff is personal to me. Shouldn't I be the one easily irritated?
You responded to a post where I explained that I was going to tell them exactly what I think, not force them, with something about how it sounds like I expect that they will bend to my will.
I had already covered that. Should I do so over and over so as to get you acknowledge that part or not irritate you, or just say that you're right?
irritated by your lack of understanding, not of the situation you are in, for the record. I said tell them what you think, understand they are not obligated to give a s*** what you think, and you ranted directly at me with this comment:
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How does it become unhealthy to tell a sibling, or a friend, or anyone you are close to for that matter, when you think they're acting s***tily and why you think that? It would be more healthy to pretend that you don't think they're handling it poorly and selfishly? It would be more healthy to not to tell the people in your life what you think and feel? Would it be more healthy not to express anger when you are angry with them? Strange.
You clearly failed to understand what I was saying, so I was done for the night.
as for your final comment about it only being in the op, I actually was thinking this sounded more like you expect them to listen to you than does the op:
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but they need to at least tolerate each other for the holidays. My mom deserves that much and they f***ing know it. I get that they were scared. I get that he said horrible things to them. I get that he harrassed them and that they got to the point where they wanted nothing more to do with him. I was there too; it was all perfectly reasonable at the time. I agreed. We were all burned, abused, and treated like we betrayed our brother. I understand how badly that hurt, and how frustrating it all was. I get their side. And even if I didn't, they don't hold back sharing their perspective. It sucked. He was an utter jackass. Now he's not, and they need to get over it, just enough to tolerate his presence for family events.
This doesn't sound even a little bit like you are talking about telling them what you think. It sounds like you are going to dictate what you expect from them and then you are going to expect it of them, so you can think that my comments are unreasonable or not, I don't really care, but they were grounded in what I saw of your posts and not some random emotional response to your family.