Can men and women be "just friends"?

argerchay

vineland, New Jersey

#16

Jan 09, 2009 @ 02:13:26

sure they can, once sex is out the window!

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empircist

Seattle, Washington

#17

Jan 09, 2009 @ 02:16:16

@Stigma Said

I think the question isn't meant to be taken that far. I think of it as, do you find the people you are close with attractive. That doesn't mean you want to hop in there pants. lol

i guess that's where it gets a little sticky. i do find some of my guy friends attractive, because i find people with admirable qualities (which a "friend" would implicitly have) to be attractive. in different ways. ... or in the regular way. and since i'm up front about everything, my boyfriend knows that i think some of them are attractive.

that was the problem, huh.

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empircist

Seattle, Washington

#18

Jan 09, 2009 @ 02:22:29

@Sontaran Said

You posted the the question, im posting how i feel on the subject matter.

sounds to me you are looking for positive re-enforcement from people aggreeing with your point on the matter.

no, i was really asking you, since you share my boyfriends' view, if there's anything i could do to remedy the problem. i didn't mean to sound cheeky or anything.

and i honestly want to hear all points of view on this old topic. it's interesting how certain different people can be of each opposing take.

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vekta

,

#19

Jan 09, 2009 @ 02:22:34

Completely possible.

I do that all the time. I have some female friends I would never date or sleep with unless they insisted by drugging me.

I have female friends that I would never consider dating because it just plain wouldn't work...not even in my mind. And they are pretty. It's a lot more fun to tease them about here new boy friends anyways.

My best friend is really attractive but I'd never date or sleep with her...that'd be like sleeping with my cousin or something.

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Edited: January 09, 2009 @ 02:23

Stigma

zombie vomit

Deleted

, New Hampshire

#20

Jan 09, 2009 @ 02:23:48

@empircist Said

i guess that's where it gets a little sticky. i do find some of my guy friends attractive, because i find people with admirable qualities (which a "friend" would implicitly have) to be attractive. in different ways. ... or in the regular way. and since i'm up front about everything, my boyfriend knows that i think some of them are attractive.

that was the problem, huh.

Hmmm, well, I think it was nice you were upfront, and I almost don't want to say this, because honesty is beautiful, but, maybe you were too upfront?

Uhg... that was painful to type.

Maybe he just has trust issues from other relationships...

I mean you weren't like "Yea, my friend is pretty cute, I'd bang him", I imagine you just think some of them are cute, right?

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Sontaran

Deleted

Perth, Australia

#21

Jan 09, 2009 @ 02:26:34

@empircist Said

no, i was really asking you, since you share my boyfriends' view, if there's anything i could do to remedy the problem. i didn't mean to sound cheeky or anything.

and i honestly want to hear all points of view on this old topic. it's interesting how certain different people can be of each opposing take.

kool.

does these guy frends jus want 2 hang out with you or would they ask u and your guy to hang out????

Your intentions may be good, but that dosnt mean others are........ if u know wot i mean.

...and like someone else said, it comes down to the indiviual.

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rubylights

Miami, Florida

#22

Jan 09, 2009 @ 02:27:19

I've had lots of guy friends whom i've never had an impure thought about. but i've also had a friendship with a guy that was full of sexual tension. he's still just my friend, although we don't hide the obvious. but for the most part our relationship has remained platonic and it's because we both know that if we decided to take another step it'd ruin the beautiful friendship we have...

in the end, it's about the individual...

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waterflower

adelaide south australia, Aust

#23

Jan 09, 2009 @ 02:28:28

No.

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Birdstuff

, Massachusetts

#24

Jan 09, 2009 @ 02:31:55

honestly that possibility of you at least blowing one of these guys is in your boyfriend's mind... non of this insecure s*** when you're with someone you can't help but covet them if you care... it bothered me initially because my gf has a few guy friends but after getting to know them a bit 1 has a girlfriend and the other well if he isn't an H-mo he's at least on the waiting list... and I get along with them pretty well

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empircist

Seattle, Washington

#25

Jan 09, 2009 @ 02:33:15

@Stigma Said

Hmmm, well, I think it was nice you were upfront, and I almost don't want to say this, because honesty is beautiful, but, maybe you were too upfront?

Uhg... that was painful to type.

Maybe he just has trust issues from other relationships...

I mean you weren't like "Yea, my friend is pretty cute, I'd bang him", I imagine you just think some of them are cute, right?

oh man, no. i wouldn't say that. it's just come up indirectly as a sidenote in a conversation about something else. i'd just never omit it or lie about it. (because seriously, if i said they were ugly, he'd know i was lying :lol

honesty usually works out, but you're probably right with this one.

he's been cheated on. more than once. but i've given him no reason not to trust me /and/ i've got good credentials in the area.

probably a stalemate huh.

0

plebian_angel

Intergalactic hussy

a great future,

#26

Jan 09, 2009 @ 02:37:33

I can be friends with a guy without it going anywhere. But then again I don't view guys as potential dates. and most guys once I get to know them it's like 'ok he's fine for a friend but nothing more'

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empircist

Seattle, Washington

#27

Jan 09, 2009 @ 02:38:51

@Sontaran Said

kool.

does these guy frends jus want 2 hang out with you or would they ask u and your guy to hang out????

Your intentions may be good, but that dosnt mean others are........ if u know wot i mean.

...and like someone else said, it comes down to the indiviual.

my friends all want to meet my boyfriend (it's only been 8 months but to me that's way too long to have them still strangers to each other). my friends have been close with past boyfriends, this is the first time i've had to deal with this. probably why i sound like an idiot.

but yeah, they want to hang out with us both. the one time i got a friend together with my boyfriend and some other people, my friend was completely cool, and it seemed clear to everyone else that we were on the straight and narrow. but my boyfriend said he felt like i shouldn't need him there. or want him there. because girls should only need one man.

0

plebian_angel

Intergalactic hussy

a great future,

#28

Jan 09, 2009 @ 02:42:27

@empircist Said

my friends all want to meet my boyfriend (it's only been 8 months but to me that's way too long to have them still strangers to each other). my friends have been close with past boyfriends, this is the first time i've had to deal with this. probably why i sound like an idiot.

but yeah, they want to hang out with us both. the one time i got a friend together with my boyfriend and some other people, my friend was completely cool, and it seemed clear to everyone else that we were on the straight and narrow. but my boyfriend said he felt like i shouldn't need him there. or want him there. because girls should only need one man.

Well one man to have as their significant other.
everyone needs friends outside of their SO or what do you have?

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vekta

,

#29

Jan 09, 2009 @ 02:43:01

@empircist Said

he's been cheated on. more than once. but i've given him no reason not to trust me /and/ i've got good credentials in the area.

If he's worried about it enough that it's become a problem you feel the need to ask TFS about then he's not really ready to be in a committed relationship. Worrying is one thing...worrying that creates a problem is something else. Sounds like he doesn't trust you anyways to me.

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empircist

Seattle, Washington

#30

Jan 09, 2009 @ 02:44:31

@Birdstuff Said

honestly that possibility of you at least blowing one of these guys is in your boyfriend's mind... non of this insecure s*** when you're with someone you can't help but covet them if you care... it bothered me initially because my gf has a few guy friends but after getting to know them a bit 1 has a girlfriend and the other well if he isn't an H-mo he's at least on the waiting list... and I get along with them pretty well

would it be okay if those guys were single? i guess that's almost a mute point with my thing because my boyfriend wouldn't care if all my friends were married, he'd still think they were jonesing for me.

i mean, i'm not saying jealousy is a myth, he has a few girl-friends who are top notch and i think there could be a possibility of something happening between them, however trivial, but not enough for me to actually worry about it.

0

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