How long should one wait?

As humans, we deal with things differently, one person may take a year to get over their loved one passing, another may take 10.
We really can't judge anothers choices based on our own views.

How, could you possibly understand?
Are you the step son?
go through the same grief as him from losing his mother!
now the kid who just lost his mother may feel hes lost his adopted father as well, and or must be shared with some stranger!

One year after? wow, really thought one through, huh?
makes one think they knew each other before her passing, wouldnt you?

seems selfish and inconsiderate, imo but i dont know all the details so ill spare you for now, lol.

I'm wondering how close the stepfather is to his stepson because it's kind of sad that he isn't being very sensitive to his son's feelings about the whole issue.

I mean when my friend's dad decided to start dating again, he asked my friend what she thought about that. He felt that even though he was her father and could whatever he wanted as such, it would be good to do it with her blessing. Years later when he finally met a woman that he wanted to marry, he again asked my friend if she was okay with that. My friend was excited about her dad remarrying because she felt like he was involving her in the process of forming his new life.

I think that might be how the son feels. Dad isn't really involving him in the events that will effect both of their lives. Therefore the son might feel that he is being pushed to the side and forgotten even if that is not the dad's request.

I think that if you're there for a person when they are alive, if you wash the sick person, and turn them in the bed so that they won't get sore, if you do that then you have done all you can and it doesn't matter how long you wait form another friendship, my friend was widowed a few years ago and she met a widower and they got friendly because they both found it lonely on their own but he couldn't do it and the reason why just makes me sick, when his wife was ill he looked after her so well, she needed nothing he waited on her hand and foot, now a lot of people would say that was his job and I agree but there are not many men who can look after someone like that, he decided couldn't go on seeing my friend because of what people might think, I wanted to scream, because of nosey neighbours he put his life on hold, he was there when she needed him and as far as I'm concerned that was all that mattered.

I agree with you!If this makes him happy then he should go for it!I hope things work out for him.J

It is understandable why the son would reject this relationship.
New mom, new kids, his position in the house will never be the same.
His dad becomes someone's husband, and dad.
The pie of assets which would have passed onto him by his dad now being '' sliced''.

Although one always deny this string of realities once it comes to second marriages... but its true.
How many actually never thinks of what he or she is going to get when their parents passed away?

I keep seeing people say things like the son feels like his Dad is replacing his Mom...like the son is still a kid...

It is the man's grown step son...he is not a child in fact, he has his own wife and children...he does not have a real relationship with this man...it appears that this is a man that his mother married and not truly a stepfather as in this man helped to raise him...

I say the son should leave the poor guy alone...

It is good that the dad wants to be remarried, and it will be a healthier household with two parents.

The kid is probably holding onto his memories, and is still mourning in a sense. That's understandable too. It makes me wonder what kind of bond his future-stepmother and him have, if not one at all.

His future stepmom should spend time with just him for a while and create a friendship too. They should be able to be open with each other about everything. His mom can never be replaced, but that doesn't mean he can't have a motherly rolemodel in his life either.

I hope his dad has also expalained all this to his son as well, and has given all three of them some family time. A year after a death is kind of boderline bad/good time. That's more of a time to just build a good bond, but I would wait at least another 4-6 months before trying to rebuild a broken family.

All the luck to him, and mad dibbs for the future stepmom!

If that's the case, the guy probably feels like he's losing both parents. I have two step-parents, but love them just as much as I love my real ones.

He could also see it as his stepdad "easily" got over his mom's death and moved on quickly and feels insulted. If anything, if he is grown up, he should be able to understand that life comes and goes so fast and no one wants to die alone or live mourning for the rest of their lives.

He should be happy for him, and put his feelings aside. I don't know. That must be real hard for the dad.

Regardless of how old a person is, matters pertaining to one's parents can be very unsetting. My mom was a young adult when her parents died and that was very upsetting to her. She had a lot of reservations about getting married herself because of what happened to them.

Personally I think that it would be a good idea if everyone actually talked about how they felt. That way the dad doesn't think that the son is just being nasty and the son doesn't think dad doesn't care what he thinks. They can all lay their cards out on the table instead of letting things fester.

I don't know why. I guess having a hard time with taking the death of the love one. May think they will love the new person more, and they don't want to see that, or will forget about that person once the person says "I do". They need to really have a talk with the person and say..just because so and so has died, doesn't mean that
this person will take the place of your mother or father, and let them know that you will love that person forever and no marriage will EVER change that. Let them know that you deserve to be happy
and your love one would want that for you. Let them know once the
love one is dead, you are in no way cheating on them.

I can understand that if the kid is still living home.. its going ot beweird for hhim ot have to dea with a stranger while he isnt done yet wiht mourning his mum.. for him its lkike he is betrailing his mum an dhe can tlive wiht it. If they are split up its ok, thats not the same but when the mum is actually dead htats more hard. Some have it fne wiht it cause it was the dad who werent coping wiht the dead as good as the boy, so a nw woman inject life agian in their life, and htings are better for all.
but in other cases, like here, somoen isnt done yet.
If the boy do not still live wiht his dad hten i do not see why he should have to compain, after all iot aint his life.. but hios dads life and he do not have to live together with that woman, so htat wil make no sense..

Well thas an entire story then. the guy is just an idiot. he is grown up, got his own family and all, never saw that man who is not even his dad, so what the heck is he so bothered about?? he dont even visit him menaing he dont give a damn about his step dad, so why should he mix up into what this man is going to and whom he is going to married?? its none of his business, period.. I htink some people lost track cause you ddnt said it was a grown up perosn, the son, and htat in worse he wasnt living with his dad and that in worse this dad wasnt his real dad but his step dad, and that he wasnt even seing him.. so whats wrogn wiht that boy? he dont like knowing his atep dad could be happy again?
What an egoist! you are right he is being ultra selfish!