The Red Dwarf fan page

Rimmer,

"Now kindly cluck off, before I extract your gibblets, and shove a large seasoned onion between the lips you never kiss with. "

Cat: "Hey, I got it! We laser our way through!?"

Kryten: "Ah, an excellent suggestion, Sir, with just two minor drawbacks. One, we don't have a power source for the lasers, and two, we don't have any lasers."

Cat,

"How come you need more memory? Over the years you've had more RAM than a field of sheep!."

Lister,

"You're a toad, Rimmer. You're a weasel. You're a slimy, river-dwelling rodent with the morals of a praying mantis."

Holly,

"We have three realistic alternatives: (1) Sit here and get blown up, (2) Stand here and get blown up, (3) Jump up and down, shout at me for not being able to think of anything, then get blown up. "

I seem to have taken over the entire thread yay me


Lister,

"Get real man. Most eunuchs have got more balls than you. "

Rimmer,

"You actually expect something to go right for me? Arnold schmucko Rimmer? Tosspot by royal appointment?"