More Funnies

@rondetto Said

My wife must think I'm an athlete She said to me you've been out 3 nights running.
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I said to the window cleaner I've confiscated your ladders and if I catch you looking at my wife through the bedroom window again further steps will be taken.
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The inventor of the sleeping pill has died and he's being buried next week, He's not having a wake!
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My parrot broke its leg today, so I made it a splint using using two matchsticks. You should have seen its little face light up when it tried to walk!
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I bought an old Snoopy annual at the book shop the wrapper said may contain peanuts.
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My wife just said to me 'your obsession with cats is totally out of control so I've Packed your bags'. I think she's kicking meowt!
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