@Jennifer1984 Said
I think a lot of what you say is true, although I have to say that you come across to me as quite angry and that could lead you open to assumptions from some posters.
We, as women, are often our own worst enemy, but it's not our fault. Yes, we ARE emotional. Yes, we DO vent our frustrations. And, yes, sometimes we do fall for the same old lines of chat over and over.
But would we really want to change that aspect of ourselves..? Do we want to stop being "women" because of how we are treated by men..? I don't think so. Rather, what we need to change is how we respond to those occasions when we are treated badly.
A broken relationship, or staying in one that is abusive or unfaithful is an emotional strain that I think a lot of men find difficult to understand. Some men are able to comprehend the complexity of female emotional states, but for most, they are so deeply ingrained in the masculine macho attitude of not letting their own feelings show that the mere thought of a woman opening her heart makes her seem, in his eyes, weak and feeble.
When such a man perceives a woman to be weak, she is contemptible in his eyes. He'll use her for sex or anything else he wants, but he won't respect her and he won't be faithful or honest to her.
The women who vent on Twitter and Facebook are often only doing so because they feel there is nowhere else for them to get things off their chest. If they don't have a close friend or sister or mum who can be their "confidante" they may turn to the supposed, but false, anonymity of social networking sites. I don't think these women are being pathetic, they are making a cry for help. They have a need to communicate what they are going through and as an act of desperation they do something that is inappropriate but to them, doesn't seem that way.
So, what should she do..? Should she hide her feelings..? Bury them deep down inside and not release anything..? I don't think so. Why should she be repressed just because he is incapable of understanding her?
Of course, we would all love to have somebody to turn to, to make the tea, lend a listening ear and give out hugs and tissues. If all the women in the world had that option, Facebook and Twitter traffic would probably decline alarmingly and throw advertisers into a state of mortal panic.
But many women DON'T have that option and this is when they have to be strong. Easier said than done, I know, but I think we need to get that message out.
Women are NOT weak and feeble. We will express our feelings and men have two choices: Accept it, learn to live with it and start to show some sensitivity to their partner, or they should seriously start to reconsider their place in this relationship.
I think it goes without saying that any woman in a physically or mentally abusive relationship should seek professional help. Possibly even take police and / or legal action. There is plenty of support and advice out there, and plenty of women's groups who will help them. Women: You are not alone.
But the message has to be spread. Those of us who are fortunate enough to be in strong, loving relationships, or have good people in our lives with whom we can share our feelings, might like to take the time to make ourselves available to other women whom we might be able to help.
Solidarity, sisters..!! (cliche spoken tongue in cheek, but that's what it amounts to)
To any woman out there who reads this and is going through difficult times, please don't despair. You don't have to put up with being abused or denigrated for your feelings. Please don't think you have to pour your heart out into the world wide web. All that does is demean you further.
If you have somebody in your life who you trust and feel safe with, talk to them. If you don't, then seek help from professional groups. They're there for YOU.
Best wishes and good luck, women. Stay strong.
I understandstand that and I said I been there before so Im speaking from experience VENTING IS HEALTHY but its how you vent is the problem... And venting your relationship on face book and twitter and having the world know if you boyfriend issues isn't the smartest or healthiest thing. Thats why they have therapist and counselors... or a friend you can call or if posting facebook has a new way of making any one post private or for certian ppl you trust can see..
Posting constantly everyother day your breakups and make ups is only causing the public option on your life that they have no clue or idea of details about.. Its natural ppl may look at you like either a fool, judge you or pity you. Some understand and some don't. It draws negative energy eniemes or envious ppl see your lows and the happy about it... You need to surround your self with positivity look at positive sides to every situation..
Also ppl blaming men I feel like we can not blame a man. If he wronged you yeah hes the blame for hurting your feeling ect. but if you continue to allow a man to hurt you day in and day out your being taken as a fool thats on you. Its easier said then done, true. But its POSSIBLE and with strength positive energy and will power you can get out of a unhealthy relationship. For domestic violence cases their are so many sources of help you just have to want it...
You can't help someone who doesn't help themselves..