Many conversations of late have prompted to posting of this blog. Giz and I were talking earlier and he got some news about his ex and as it always does when he gets news from her it affected him much as when I heard that Bryan may be dead it shocked me into feeling as if I had been punched in the stomach or when I thought may die due to illness .We each understand that the other was not our first love and so we cannot love one another in quite the same way as we loved back the. This doesn't mean our love for each other is any weaker...if that were the case we likely would not made it through my mom trying to cause drama much less making through being roughly 600 miles apart since December. Our love for each other is different yes...we are both older and some ways wiser than we were in the past. No we cannot give our hearts to each so completely and with such utter faith that this person could never hurt us. We do however love each other very much(speaking for myself); more as each day passes. We do recognize that each of us is imperfect so we will grow together;we each know how to be happy and content outside of our relationship so we are not as entirely invested in each other. We love differently than we use to but we love each very deeply. I am very happy because for the first time since I was 17 I feel completely secure in the knowledge that I am in this relationship for the right reasons. I am confident in his love for me as he is in my love for him. As I have already said different does not mean less it only means we have changed since we were younger.