I found out, last Saturday, I'm pregnant. It has been a long horrible journey to finally get a straight answer.

Since my last period in Dec, I have not had one... I took several tests in January and February... negative negative negative.

March and still no period, got another test, positive. Somehow I knew it all along. I don't know if your body just gets more sensitive but I knew I was either pregnant or something was wrong with me. So... this is all guess work but...

The last day of my period was Dec 14th. So assuming at the latest I was knocked up Dec 15th I have been pregnant 80 days as of today. Which is what? Almost 12 weeks, I have been pregnant, good christ.

Of coarse, I'm going to be honest here... I am 20, I have little income, and barely know how to care for myself... the father doesn't want the baby and I don't either. It's just a foolish idea to keep it.

It's so easy to say that, but then you let your heart take over & you feel horrible, you feel like a monster. I googled 12-13 week fetus... they look like little people, they are little people. It is a life of me and my lover... it's our fault it's living, and here I am cursing my womb & planning to abort it.

What kind of person am I? I feel like an awful one.