I want my boyfriend to move in with me...

"Love Hurts"

MeowingRock

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Joined: Sep 2013

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MeowingRock
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I want my boyfriend to move in with me...
October 09, 2013 @ 05:11:06 pm

My boyfriend and I love each other and plan to have a kid together, we've known each other for four years but have only been together for a few months. I want him to move in so badly but he keeps making excuses after excuses. First, it was because he was too worried about his grandma to move, then it was he loves his family too much, now its because he has too much stuff and no money for a uhaul. I'm very sympathetic about the family bit.... But pretty soon he is going to run out of excuses. I'm ready to start my life with him. This is infuriating!

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Eaglebauer

Moderator

October 09, 2013 @ 05:28:37 pm

It sounds as though he's just not ready to move in...you've only been together for a few months? That seems reasonable on his part to me.

Why is that infuriating? Would you really want him to move in with you if he was doing it reluctantly and with trepidation? I'm not saying he is or isn't...or even that if he's reluctant it will stay that way. Of course it doesn't have to...he may just need more time to be ready.

Or is it infuriating that he's just making excuses and not being forthcoming? That much I can understand...it seems it would be better if he just spoke openly about it (if that's really the case).

I realize you haven't said anything about a time line yet, but having kids with him is something you should probably do after you've been with him a little longer. I know you've known him a lot longer than you've "been with" him, but when the relationship changed to romance you kind of have to start the meter over. Ya naam sayin?

All just food for thought...not being negatively critical.

chaski

Stalker

October 09, 2013 @ 05:42:12 pm

You say that you two have only been together for a few months.

Maybe you need to give it a little more time.

Don't pressure him or you will either push him away or he will move in before he is ready...before you both are ready.

Believe it or not you do not want to live with someone before you both are ready.

Drop the topic (with him) for a while and maybe it will become his idea.

MeowingRock

October 09, 2013 @ 07:34:42 pm

I appreciate the advice

We've been in love for four years but couldn't be together. Now we are together, and I feel like we are already married lol. We know each other inside and out (giggity).... But I guess moving in together is too big for him.

Electric_Banana

October 09, 2013 @ 07:42:59 pm

Boyfriend can not currently break free of financial dependence from his family.

I am only going to say this once but I know what I am about to say is going to sound only like "Meow" to you and every single person who even bothers to read it:

Just because your boyfriend does not have the financial ability to go independent does not mean that he would also lack competence in providing loyal company or maintaining a respectful relationship to you.

Anywho, off you go to find a man of wealth and owning his own home who will carry you for a few years always regarding you as the child borrowing his credit card and then eventually ending the relationship because he too follows the law stating there is always something better than what you currently have.

yami

October 09, 2013 @ 08:14:28 pm

Well he has to man up doesn't he and cut the cords to his family. Or else once he does run out of excuses what then?

GreenAppleKing

October 10, 2013 @ 12:55:20 am

till death do us part?

Is he ready for that?

Tar

October 10, 2013 @ 06:55:50 am

This is my opinion. He's making excuses because he has a feeling that its not right, but he's not sure why. He's trying not to hurt your feelings or upset you, but the problem is, he doesn't feel like he can tell you about what's on his mind without you over reacting.

Also note that it is simply foolish to move in together if you've been together for only a few months, regardless of how long you've known each other. To add to that, you are only 23 meaning you're young. Add to that, the added pressure of having a child together and you are setting the grounds for an immensely destructive failure.

IMO, you're being impetuous

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