Which of these would be worse for a person's self-esteem?

If a spouse cheats on you with someone of the same or the opposite sex?

My friend's boyfriend cheated on her with another guy and her self-esteem was crushed. It was years ago, and she still won't date anyone. She feels that she was such a dissappointment to him as a partner that she actually turned him gay. but she is doing horribly. what would be worse for you?

i would feel better if they cheated with someone of the same sex... i think it would be less of a burn if they simply prefer the wrong sex to be with me, than they just didn't like me personally... plus it would be a funny story later on, though i doubt i would want to tell it to too many people...

The same sex would hurt me a lot more.. If it's the opposite sex than at least I wouldn't take it as an insult to me personally just his preferring his own sex more...

if i had to pick, i would feel better if he cheated on me with another guy because then i would know that the problem it really isn't me, but him.

Both would hurt me equally.

OK, well if my boyfriend cheated on me with a guy... Well I don't think I'd worry too much. I don't know why. Also, I know he wouldn't.
Now if it was with another girl, then I'd be f***ing livid. That would be worse in my opinion.

And he also told me that if I cheated on him with another girl, he'd be pissed! Only if I didn't take pictures though. If it was with another guy.... He'd leave me.

really? that's very interesting. would you stay with him if he cheated on you with another guy?

Sure! Only if he let me join.
But me and him have had this discussion before. Same sex for us isn't a big deal.

but...i mean, he's still cheating.

I know! It's weird.
Say he actually did cheat, with another man, I'd more then likely laugh at him and ask him how it was.

But I don't worry about those things. I know he flirts, and to a degree that most women would probably not tolerate. But we both trust each other completely. I know he loves me and I love him with all my heart.

To us, sex is sex. It doesn't always have to have a meaning or feeling behind it. We wont cheat on each other because we love each other. But IF he cheated with another man, I would really have to ask him to do it again, but only if I was around.

wow. it sounds like you guys are pretty good friends too.

I don't think that it would have an effect on my self esteem.... either way it would end the relationship.

We started off as friends. It grew from there. I tell him everything and well, he tells me everything even when I don't want to hear it. But yea, I'd like to think we are pretty good friends.

I know this much- If I wasn't in a relationship with him, I'd be extremely upset to not have him as a friend.

Excellent question, but it seems you have your answetr already. That is, each person is different, so it seems it would hurt us differently. For your freind sames sex was worse.

I think it would hurt me far more if my spouse cheated with a guy, rather than another woman.
The difference for me would be that if he slept with a woman, he just stopped loving me. If he slept with a man, I would worry that maybe he never did.
It would actually make me doubt that the relationship was ever genuine for him to start with - perhaps not fair, but that's how I would feel.
Please tell your friend that no-one 'turns' anyone gay. I would say that he has known he was attracted to men for a long time and hoped to ignore it. I assume that his being caught has given him a chance to live more honestly. It's awful that his self-discovery has come at your friend's expense.
It's time for her to dust herself off and get on with her life. She did nothing wrong - he chose to mislead her - and himself I would say. I don't know if there were any clues or signs she ignored, but if there were, she won't ignore them again.
She needs to be very grateful that she found out now. I don't know if kids are involved - hopefully not. Either way, this guy was meant to be part of her life, but not part of her future, thank goodness.