I recommend to you two readings:
1. “SPIRITUAL EXERCISES OF ST. IGNATIUS”. I would further suggest that you enter into the exercise. Typically you will find the suggestion that you “need” a guide or teacher. I suggest that you reject that and undertake the exercise with complete faith that god will guide you. Take the practice into your heart. Give your god a chance to speak to you.
2. The Didache. Believe it or not, this is the closest of the true teachings of Jesus that "we" still have. Put aside your Paulian tendencies for long enough to read and assess it.
falling on the proverbial “deaf ears” no doubt, as after all you haven’t yet fully read & studied the Bible. (Feel free to correct me... I will be happy to admit my error.)
Still the challenge is laid before you to learn and find your true
Take it, leave it, ignore it.
You have nothing to fear.