Interest?

The_Judge

Deleted

Your city, United Kingdom

#61

Jun 26, 2013 @ 21:37:06

@someone_else_again Said

The moral of the story ought to be "If you're going to intentionally stick someone in the LJBF zone, mean it."

At the time she did mean it. That was back in my shy days. When she saw me again, I had changed a lot. I was a totally different person to who I was when she first met me.

Someone I speak to today, I have no idea of telling what they will be like in 7 years times.

0

The_Judge

Deleted

Your city, United Kingdom

#62

Jun 26, 2013 @ 21:42:02

@someone_else_again Said

I'm so glad I'm not playing this game.

I just enjoy the drama. When Im out and about I can either be anti social. Or I can chat to people and enjoy the drama I create. Then live with the consequences.

Half the time when I go out, Im just like "Im just playing pool/having a few drinks tonight and that's it". Then I walk into a bar and there is some absolutely gorgeous woman stood/sat their with her friends or a bunch of girls out in a large group. Then instinct takes over. What ever happens, what ever is said, its always fun, you never know whats gonna happen, that's the fun of it. That's the problem with attraction, you don't choose who you are attracted to. It just happens.

0

someone_else_again

Really. Not a dude.

, Washington

#63

Jun 26, 2013 @ 22:00:32

@The_Judge Said

I just enjoy the drama. When Im out and about I can either be anti social. Or I can chat to people and enjoy the drama I create. Then live with the consequences.

Half the time when I go out, Im just like "Im just playing pool/having a few drinks tonight and that's it". Then I walk into a bar and there is some absolutely gorgeous woman stood/sat their with her friends or a bunch of girls out in a large group. Then instinct takes over. What ever happens, what ever is said, its always fun, you never know whats gonna happen, that's the fun of it. That's the problem with attraction, you don't choose who you are attracted to. It just happens.

Drama. Yep. That's the magic word. Hate it.

What I meant was I'm glad I'm not playing the dating game.

0

The_Judge

Deleted

Your city, United Kingdom

#64

Jun 26, 2013 @ 22:11:21

@someone_else_again Said

Drama. Yep. That's the magic word. Hate it.

What I meant was I'm glad I'm not playing the dating game.

cant blame you. When I was with my ex, before it all went south, everything seemed perfect, apart from the distance problem. I didn't feel any urge to create drama, I didn't need to. I was very content.

But then it all went to rats.

But on the other hand, some of the drama I have been part(cause?) of, if maybe only 3 months ago, someone had prewarned me about, I would of laughed and just said, stuff like that dosnt happen to a guy like me.

The more I push the boundries of what I think is possible, the more the boundries grow.

0

someone_else_again

Really. Not a dude.

, Washington

#65

Jun 26, 2013 @ 22:22:21

@The_Judge Said

The more I push the boundries of what I think is possible, the more the boundries grow.

So true.

0

Dark_Tink

<3 Boobie <3

, Canada

#66

Jun 26, 2013 @ 22:28:50

@The_Judge Said

In case he is wrong. Fear of rejection. Name your cliché. Lack of self confidence.

By the sounds of it he should, but he is probably too scared.

Im guessing bad memories from his past. Which he visualises, he just focuses on negative reactions. Instead of the positive.

All in all, he needs to believe in himself.

Those are probably the same reasons why that girl on the bus didn't just tell the guy she liked him. That also goes for many, many other people.

I have been in that situation before. I thought the guy liked me, since I got the impression that he was flirting(this has happened a few times to me), so when I would say something to show my interest, he acted as though I just killed and skinned an animal in front of him...yes, a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the gist...so I just quit all together when it came to flirting and putting forth my interest with guys.

@The_Judge Said

A lot of guys actually don't know how to talk to women.

The same goes for ladies when talking to guys.

0

Edited: June 26, 2013 @ 22:35

The_Judge

Deleted

Your city, United Kingdom

#67

Jun 26, 2013 @ 22:31:24

@someone_else_again Said

So true.

Sometimes that is the problem. It all started off as me wanting to get my confidence up. So I read some confidence self help books, I read up on body language, I read up on NLP. I studied alexander technique for improving body posture.

I built my list of affirmations.

I went out twice a week, approached the hottest girls in the bars, the biggest b****es I could find Basically I approached girls that were a challenge.

Now it seems it isn't about confidence as such but just seeing how far I can push the limits of my own reality.

If you compare me to how I was 3 months ago, Im a totally different person.

0

The_Judge

Deleted

Your city, United Kingdom

#68

Jun 26, 2013 @ 22:40:22

@Dark_Tink Said

so I just quite all together when it came to flirting and putting forth my interest with guys.

Now that's the reason, I flirt with quite a lot of girls when I go out or if Im served by a girl at a shop. One of the shops where I live, I held up the queue for ten minutes flirting with the girl who worked there.

When it comes to someone Im interested in, I will know what Im doing and not make the mistakes Ive made in the past.

Once of my favourite mistakes was when I was at college.

Me: Im not doing much tonight, you doing anything.
Her: Nope my parents are away for the weekend. Just me and a bottle of wine tonight. Shame Ive got no company.
Me: Oh right you should get a dvd or something and ring a friend.

She never spoke to me again after that. Im not saying she was definitely hinting at anything, but I should of responded a bit more flirtatiously. Oh and she knew I had a massive crush on her. Everyone knew. And at that point it was just me and her on the bus.

My younger years are full of "if only" moments like that. Where the signals were there but I didn't make a move because I didn't know how/was too scared.

0

foxytrot

Turtle Ninja

Oceanside, California

#69

Jun 27, 2013 @ 00:41:00

@tickleme Said

Ok, long story short, this guy i know is acting weird and i am not sure if he is giving off signals that he likes me or not..

The other night he started off telling me he was having a bath and i said could i join him and he said things could get steamy and i said i would give him a smack next time i saw him and he said he wasn't into that.

Then he tells me he is going out on a date with some girl that has been set up for him and then texts me to tell me she wasnt what he was expecting and i respond with "does that i mean i have to step in to find you a decent girl?" and he said "maybe" and i said "a wild one, similar to me?" and he said "like you"

Was that comment a hint he is interested or wanting someone like me?

If you are attracted to him be straight up. It's like a game of wits and coyness right now, but if he has full interest try saying something like this: "You want a girl like me or me? Don't lead me on."

Gives no option to manipulate or misinterpretation

I personally don't like my time being wasted, so I tend to be frank like that

1

Cpat92

It's all or nothing

Lauderhill, Florida

#70

Jun 27, 2013 @ 04:59:22

@foxytrot Said

If you are attracted to him be straight up. It's like a game of wits and coyness right now, but if he has full interest try saying something like this: "You want a girl like me or me? Don't lead me on."

Gives no option to manipulate or misinterpretation

I personally don't like my time being wasted, so I tend to be frank like that

I agree.

0

foxytrot

Turtle Ninja

Oceanside, California

#71

Jun 27, 2013 @ 05:32:12

@Cpat92 Said

I agree.

Thank you!

0

foxytrot

Turtle Ninja

Oceanside, California

#72

Jun 27, 2013 @ 20:33:50

@The_Judge Said

Now that's the reason, I flirt with quite a lot of girls when I go out or if Im served by a girl at a shop. One of the shops where I live, I held up the queue for ten minutes flirting with the girl who worked there.

When it comes to someone Im interested in, I will know what Im doing and not make the mistakes Ive made in the past.

Once of my favourite mistakes was when I was at college.

Me: Im not doing much tonight, you doing anything.
Her: Nope my parents are away for the weekend. Just me and a bottle of wine tonight. Shame Ive got no company.
Me: Oh right you should get a dvd or something and ring a friend.

She never spoke to me again after that. Im not saying she was definitely hinting at anything, but I should of responded a bit more flirtatiously. Oh and she knew I had a massive crush on her. Everyone knew. And at that point it was just me and her on the bus.

My younger years are full of "if only" moments like that. Where the signals were there but I didn't make a move because I didn't know how/was too scared.

I just read that! We all have moments like that, but that one is really funny because that was a terrible reason for her to stop talking to you!

0

sTreetAngeL

root tedt ree

in a paradox,

#73

Jun 28, 2013 @ 01:50:12

@tickleme Said

Ok, long story short, this guy i know is acting weird and i am not sure if he is giving off signals that he likes me or not..

The other night he started off telling me he was having a bath and i said could i join him and he said things could get steamy and i said i would give him a smack next time i saw him and he said he wasn't into that.

Then he tells me he is going out on a date with some girl that has been set up for him and then texts me to tell me she wasnt what he was expecting and i respond with "does that i mean i have to step in to find you a decent girl?" and he said "maybe" and i said "a wild one, similar to me?" and he said "like you"

Was that comment a hint he is interested or wanting someone like me?

I think You. Over think. Things.

But to answer your question...
You're not sure what he truly meant by his answer because you coerced it out of him. Had he taken the initiative, or asked you out first even, over that blind date, you'd be feeling much more wanted, and 'sure' right now.

What I don't understand is,...if you asked him all of that prior, why not then didn't you just ask him when he answered, if he "wanted to get with you"?
Clearly you don't feel to shy about it. ??

0

sTreetAngeL

root tedt ree

in a paradox,

#74

Jun 28, 2013 @ 02:11:12

@The_Judge Said

If you keep a person guessing, they invest more time in you, the more time they invest in you. the more likely they are to want to see you again. Also the more intrigued they become by you.

You're half right. Keep them intrigued yes; And they will want to see you again.
Keep them guessing? Never!

Guessing equals immaturity, and a lack of surety - FOR sure - in that person about them SELF.

Those of us who grew up a long time ago and have matured, know what we want; and we want the same attitude from a person of interest. Not to have to "guess" or 'wonder'.

1

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