Writing

Please read this...I want opinions..

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robby

Providence, Rhode Island

#16

Apr 20, 2006 @ 05:37:09

That was pretty good. It was really descriptive, but I didn't really see it going anywhere. It's a great opener, but you need a real 'plot' or something going on to keep the reader hooked. In something so...eloquent, it's easy to get lost in the language. So if there's a story going on, people keep reading.
If it was poetry, or meant to be free verse, you should say so to make it easier for those reading.
Just my thoughts.

yourownwords

, New Jersey

#17

Apr 25, 2006 @ 14:42:01

Beautiful writing!

taintedblue_i

--------, United Kingdom

#18

Apr 26, 2006 @ 09:13:59

@robby Said
That was pretty good. It was really descriptive, but I didn't really see it going anywhere. It's a great opener, but you need a real 'plot' or something going on to keep the reader hooked. In something so...eloquent, it's easy to get lost in the language. So if there's a story going on, people keep reading.
If it was poetry, or meant to be free verse, you should say so to make it easier for those reading.
Just my thoughts.

Thanks..it's not part of a novel. It's just some prose I wrote one morning.

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