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Please read this...I want opinions..

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robby On April 25, 2006




Providence, Rhode Island
#16New Post! Apr 20, 2006 @ 05:37:09
That was pretty good. It was really descriptive, but I didn't really see it going anywhere. It's a great opener, but you need a real 'plot' or something going on to keep the reader hooked. In something so...eloquent, it's easy to get lost in the language. So if there's a story going on, people keep reading.
If it was poetry, or meant to be free verse, you should say so to make it easier for those reading.
Just my thoughts.
yourownwords On February 12, 2007




, New Jersey
#17New Post! Apr 25, 2006 @ 14:42:01
Beautiful writing!
taintedblue_i On August 12, 2008




--------, United Kingdom
#18New Post! Apr 26, 2006 @ 09:13:59
@robby Said
That was pretty good. It was really descriptive, but I didn't really see it going anywhere. It's a great opener, but you need a real 'plot' or something going on to keep the reader hooked. In something so...eloquent, it's easy to get lost in the language. So if there's a story going on, people keep reading.
If it was poetry, or meant to be free verse, you should say so to make it easier for those reading.
Just my thoughts.


Thanks..it's not part of a novel. It's just some prose I wrote one morning.
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