Forgive and forget?

MadCornishBiker

Banned

St Columb Road, United Kingdom

#16

Apr 06, 2012 @ 22:02:40

@Silly_Me Said

Should we always strive to forgive and forget?

What if the other person shows no signs of remorse?

According to the bible only the repentant must be forgiven.

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Kristy69

Carly's Mommy

Underneath the Cyanide Sun....

#17

Apr 06, 2012 @ 22:03:08

@Silly_Me Said

Life is short, so wouldn't make sense to not bother with people who bring misery and heartache?

Well, like I said, it depends. The person I've worked very hard on forgiving is my father. We have a good relationship despite our fallouts and his problems. I'd rather go past his jerk moments and spend as much time with him as possible. He has an alcohol problem and his days could be numbered.

Someone else I have learned to forgive is my birth mother. She has no remorse for anything she's done to be. I don't want her around me ever, but I have forgiven her.
IMO, there's no sense in harping on it. She's doing her own thing.
Giving her anger and resentment is giving her power over me.

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Electric_Banana

, New Zealand

#18

Apr 06, 2012 @ 22:06:54

@Silly_Me Said

can you spend them in a brothel?

It would take quite a few of them here in NZ seeing as the age of consent here is sixteen and it's the easiest first job for a girl to get.

"Come 'ere, lil' darlin's! I'll take all four of ya's! Not only do I look like your fathers, I smell like them too!"

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Silly_Me

In a cave, United Kingdom

#19

Apr 06, 2012 @ 22:12:53

@Kristy69 Said

Well, like I said, it depends. The person I've worked very hard on forgiving is my father. We have a good relationship despite our fallouts and his problems. I'd rather go past his jerk moments and spend as much time with him as possible. He has an alcohol problem and his days could be numbered.

Someone else I have learned to forgive is my birth mother. She has no remorse for anything she's done to be. I don't want her around me ever, but I have forgiven her.
IMO, there's no sense in harping on it. She's doing her own thing.
Giving her anger and resentment is giving her power over me.

If your birth mother wanted to be in your life now, would you allow her?

That's kind of where I'm at, do I allow this person back in my life?

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sister_of_mercy

London, United Kingdom

#20

Apr 06, 2012 @ 22:27:36

@Silly_Me Said

Its multiple incidents, but she doesn't want to acknowledge them. Its been 18 months since we last spoke, suddenly, she expects an open arms reunion.

Depending on your relationship with her it might be worth putting all your cards on the table and giving her a dose of reality so to speak. Once things are out in the open they might be able to be dealt with, but I would be wary of forgiving someone like that immediately.

1

Kristy69

Carly's Mommy

Underneath the Cyanide Sun....

#21

Apr 06, 2012 @ 22:47:03

@Silly_Me Said

If your birth mother wanted to be in your life now, would you allow her?

That's kind of where I'm at, do I allow this person back in my life?

You know, I'm not sure. Probably not because I have my (step)mom and I love her dearly so I don't think there would be anything to gain from having a relationship with her.

Idk what this person has done to you, but all I can say you can let her back into your life at a distance. Don't get sucked in too fast, too soon. Test the waters, be cool, but don't let her consume your life.

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Pandorazz

Oxfordshire, United Kingdom

#22

Apr 06, 2012 @ 22:52:27

You have to forgive so it doesn't eat away at you, but to forget is something I can't do. And as someone has said, Karma is a wonderful thing

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ThePainefulTruth

Verum est Deus

Deleted

Peoria, Arizona

#23

Apr 07, 2012 @ 06:13:52

@Silly_Me Said

Should we always strive to forgive and forget?

What if the other person shows no signs of remorse?

@MadCornishBiker Said

According to the bible only the repentant must be forgiven.

I must agree with MCB's conclusion, if not his justification. You can't forgive and forget if she isn't repentant. So, shoot her. Or, if you want to go the legal route, get a restraining order, shoot and miss, tell her you hate her guts, whatever it takes--unless her being out of your life is not what you really want.

*****Forget Hell!*****

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Edited: April 07, 2012 @ 06:19

chisa96

Supreme Goddess

Out in Nature, Wisconsin

#24

Apr 07, 2012 @ 06:52:44

You don't specifically have to forgive a person to let go of something that happened in the past, assuming it's nothing so serious that you can't or shouldn't let it go, and that it's worth to you it to do so.

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Silly_Me

In a cave, United Kingdom

#25

Apr 07, 2012 @ 09:20:29

I can't help but feel at this point, forgiving her is like giving her a get out of jail card for free and that all the hurt she caused is excused like it doesn't really matter! The hurt still continues to the point that I feel nothing for her except anger.

My friend once said to me (referring to herself) either forgive and forget, move on and never drag up the past or leave and be done with it. She opted to forgive and move on, but no lessons were learnt and the cycle repeated.

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