My husband is taking secret candid pictures of my bestfriends and other random gi

There is nothing wrong with not completely trusting your partner, especially if they show reason for you not to. I've found plenty of things that I'm VERY glad I now know and was then able to flush into the open and fix. You don't have to be vindictive about it, and you don't have to go around snooping through their stuff every day either. However, if you see something out of place, you should investigate on your own and ask questions later. I bet you anything the husband would have lied to cover his a** because it was pictures of her friends. She never would have known the truth had she asked to go through his phone. I've also found plenty of interesting things I disapprove of but never questioned, such as a very expensive purchase of wine for a female friend without consulting or telling me at all. Just because you snoop does not make you a bad partner, it makes you an informed one.

To add to this for the folks that don't seem to understand, the OP is not letting her husband off the hook by not telling her friends. She is solving a marital issue and coming to a sound and rational solution. You can't run out and tell your friends that your husband is taking secret photos of them because it's going to cause even MORE problems for everyone involved. Yes, marital issues are difficult to deal with, but you do not need a support group of friends to get through them. The OP should first sit down and calmly talk to her husband and find out what's going on. Then give him the ultimatum of trial separation or counseling, or tell him to pack his bags if that's what she wants to do.

Getting her friends together to gang up on her husband when she hasn't even made a decision to stay with him or divorce him is the worst possible thing to do. If she does reconcile, her friends will all hate her husband, not to mention what her friends or friend's spouses might do or try to do to get back at him. Telling the friends is a step that comes later on down the line, well AFTER the husband and wife come to their own decision on what to do.