Somethings to Say When Someone Wants to Kill Themselves

Yes it would be a terrifying position to be in. but then 'loving another person ' has all sorts of 'highs' and 'lows' . if someone that has a chance to help someone in a situation like this , if they would just keep in mind " it's much better for a loved one to help someone then for a stranger that doesn't have any real feelings ' I'm hoping that came out right.
My answer or opinon to the question
"Why would someone think about themselves and those that are not attempting suicide ,before even trying to help the one that is very much in need of help" . It is by nature for us to want to believe that we are important enough to a loved one that they would do anything to keep us from harm or pain.

It is better, but it's much easier for a loved one to panic and say something wrong, so in a way it's worse too.

Thank you x

I am talking about helping someone get to the help needed. After that it would be wrong for a loved to keep poking their nose. Only some one that is trained and not in any way emotionally involved can help someone deal with their issues.

That's what happened to my Uncle when he committed suicide at 35 years of age with a wife and 2 boys.

He had been seeing 5 psychiatrists and was given many meds which just made it a lot worse. He was a walking zombie.

While my Aunt and my nephews were gone to the boy's hockey game [of which they won the trophy for first place], they came home all excited crying out with happiness Dad, Dad we won.

They looked for him everywhere and found him in the basement hung by a beam.

They tried to lift him up while my Aunt called 911, but because they were in the country it took some time before they got there. He had been struggling to loosen the rope around his neck but couldn't manage to free himself from the noose and finally died.

In this case there was a lucid moment through the haze of meds that let him realize that what he was doing wasn't what he really wanted to do but it was too late.

It took the whole family years upon years to get over his suicide, especially when the paramedics told the family that he had fought hard to stop it but didn't have the physical strength to stop it and loosen the rope....

I'm talking about in the initial crisis as well. Whether they are telling you about these feelings they're having or you arrive on the scene to find them on the verge of acting on it, it's bloody terrifying, and thinking clearly enough to say the right thing to get them to seek help or imminently save their lives is difficult, to put it lightly.

It's overwhelming. And I can see how people can say something stupid, or just blurt out those cliches they've heard over and over in their desperation.

It really pisses me off when I hear about how doctors don't take the time to do the job they are being paid for and ask the few simple questions of the patitient and /or the family that would go a long ways in helping a patient instead of endangering the lives and well being .

I realise that while a loved one , in this case the husband and father , is going though treatment the family is worrying , try to be supportive and keeping the home and family together and it just never enters into the equation to question the doctors and treatment.

The 5 different doctors should be made to share equally in the death of their patient. After All they all were pushing the drugs and I'm betting not one of them ever ask those few simple questions . are you being treated by another doctor ?and are you already taking prescribed drugs ? or even worse, they all knew about each other but were to busy trying to get an early TEE off time to worry about their patient.
And because those doctors were not doing their job a family has suffered for " years upon years" dealing with the death of a loved one.
I do not blame doctors for the illness, I do blame them for the way they 'play god' while not doing their jobs to the best of their training ands abilities.

It's a widely known fact that the mental health system is s*** all around.

chisa96 , I am a bit confused here ,
Are you disagreeing with my answer / opinion as to why loved ones say something stupid, or just blurt out those cliches they've heard over and over in their desperation ? or defending your guess/ answer to the question /

I totally agree that when people get rattled in especially during life and death situations they tend to to say and do things that may not be as helpful as they hoped. I am not disagreeing with you. All I did was add my opinion about why those old sayings are thought to be the right things to say .
I will say that over the years of raising my kids and dealing with large and small emergencies has taught me how to keep my wits about me when faced with serious situations . There is nothing in the world that can put a person back into the 'thinking straight' mode while dealing with an emergency then for it to be your own child involved in the emergency . Now I don't know where you are at in life or how many kids if any you have and I am not asking either., but was thinking seem to be on different tracks heading the same direction here.

I ask that question because a poster had said anyone that is suicidal is selfish and attention seeking and would feel bad only because that person wasn't thinking right.

Totally agree!

The reason why I agree was because he had been in a psych ward for 3 weeks before they released him and he had specifically told them how he was going to do it and he did...

I know they can't stop someone who really wants to do it, but come on, 5 different psychs???

That it is! There are many cracks in this system that really need to be focused on and more money dumped into it.

I was an advocate for the 'Mentally Ill' for years and talked to the Mental Health Minister time after time until I put his family in a case scenario and low and behold there was money put toward the Mental Health, but not near enough to make any changes that are noticeable...

Hospitals being the biggest crack in the system of all cracks...

Beds, beds, beds. Not enough beds.. Go Home!

Neither really, just adding to it and rambling through/sorting my own thinking on the subject. To be perfectly honest, there are parts of your posts where I'm not quite sure what you're trying to say, so I'm kind of just skating over those sentences altogether. (Sorry. )

I do get the idea that for the most part we're in agreement though, so I'm really just talking for the sake of it here.

That's really the core of it too, that and not enough money. And it's not as though the facilities are just being a*****es, there really isn't enough so the people in need of help get the bare legal minimum of the stay before they're booted so that the next person can get the bare legal minimum.

Even if the people stuck working for these facilities wanted to help (and many do even if some don't), their hands are tied because they are just so bogged down by the sheep magnitude of people needing help from a facility ill-equiped to be a help to them all. Then they're stuck there, trying to help everyone, which leads to nobody getting any substantial help.

Meanwhile, a person who is tortured by voices or cannot function enough to even care for themselves or has just tried to kill themself is cut loose after the 3 day legal hold with a clean bill of health whether they are ready or not.

I f***ing hate it. And I have no idea what can even be done about it.

Okay, so now I'm no longer a bit confused .
I will stop taking this so serious .
Thanks.

Well, it is serious (if rambling) talk, just probably not as argumental as it sounded.