Neediness

If someone is needy, what does this actually mean?

So far the best definition I have found is

" You become needy when you need someones VALIDATION to feel good about yourself. When you already feel good, when you dont let their response dictate your state of being, you wont be "needy".

Im not saying feeling validated is bad, well actually it is, as it messes up your head as it is quite an intense emotion. But needing it is.

The main reason for this would be to have someone outside of just ourself to interact with...

I think we're in the dichotomal-opposite version of what this is meant to be ~ Start off in Hell so that we know what NOT to do when we reincarnate into the more friendlier version of this existence.

What seems to be taught here is to not depend too much on others because they are wayward and lost.

Hark, Teachers! Here thy word! Be thee not jealous of your apt pupils! For it has been told that is the children whom shall leadeth thy way!

And don't any of you DARE add the above to the Bible and blame it on me.

Human interaction is valid therapy. Talking your problems with another can help resolve inner conflict, unburden guilt, and give a different view to the situation. Calling some thing that is normal need some name like neediness puts the situation in a bad connotation. This kind of sharing and talking is what friends are for. So if you do it over a beer, or tea and coffee, or what ever, it is a normal thing.

Corey.

I am a member of a social forum called The Forum Site. Occasionally I have a need to respond to people even though it's less important for me to get a response. The fact that I'm a member at all suggests that I have a weakness--a need--for others. Of course, the fact that this community is utterly virtual acts as a buffer. No one on the internet has the ability to duplicate on the net what can/sometimes ought to happen in the physical world.

I validate you.

free parking is a perk

Here's the problem. I was guilty of it during a relationship in my early twenties. It was half way through that relationship I learnt how I was being an a*****e so I changed my attitude (then she turned the table and got sweet revenge ).

If the relationship is such that the person is suggesting that they are not a priority to YOU. They need to learn to become a priority to themselves and not depend on your undivided attention and worship 24/7 like a little child.

Children do so as priori - Insisting parents constant attention on them so that they do not become confiscated by dingos.

Im not talking about actually discussing problems or issues. Or talking about events. Im talking about people who are not content with the way things are, who need constant reassurance all the time over everything. As though they cant think for themselves, they just need constant approval from others.

Its one of those things I used to be guilty of myself, just wish I knew what went wrong in my life to make me like that for a while.





What do you mean by she turned the table?

On the lighter side, this same purpose could possibly be accomplished by having a pre-recorded tape made - push play and hear:
---intermittent shallow breathing
---warm, loving, accepting ambiance/energy emanating from 'the voice'
---at random intervals and in random order hear phrases such as this: "I agree", "Other people can be soo stupid", "You gotta
do what's best for you"
---throw in a sigh of understanding

Walla!! Now all one's venting is still private.
Best kept secret (baggage), even!

Yep, this method exists, its called Affirmations. Apparently the mind is most influenced by your own voice.What I found was making a list of negitive thoughts about myself that limited me. I then wrote a list of beliefs that I wanted in place of them. I then listened to it quietly when i went to bed through ear phones.

Of course the damage that is caused by negative beliefs cannot be cured instantlyu as it is deeply roote dinto our subconcious. So it takes a while for the new beliefs to form.

There are also products that help with this sucgh as Metamorphisis by the real Hypnotica, but the process I have described is the general idea.

And hypnosis products perform the same.

But using this method you are taking action and assuming responsibility for yourself. So when you chat to someone you can just enjoy a real conversation instead of using them to make yourself feel good about yourself. We are responsible for our own actions, thoughts and beliefs.

If you let society dictate to you and dont do anything about it, then your just a sheep, and deserve to be treated as such.

Im going to make a distinction here with my above comment.

When I say deserve to be treated as such.

There is a saying, you can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink.

If someone accepts that they are f**ked in the head and they need to get some sort of help, then ask for advice and follow it, thats one thing, thats the route I took.

But if you acknowledge this, do nothing about it, then complain because life isnt easy. Thats what makes you a sheep. You only get out what you put in. If you put nothing in you get nothing out. So enjoy your life eating the script provided by the wolves.

Those who I vent to never hear my venting because Hades intercepts and retorts "Quit going on about this stupid s*** because people are blaming all of your clap-trappin' conspiracy crap on me!"