ok, do you think this is petty , i did it anyway!

My sons father pays ?80 per month for his son.

I worked out ?20 per week what we actually agreed is 87 pound per month, so this is what i did

Isent him msg through fb because he has been away with his gfriend in Amsterdam and has yet again missed out on seeing his son, again!
So i just asked him if from the 1st of jan could he pay 87 instaed of 80 per month, its 7 quid to me its only fair as he doesnt ever but him anything besides, does any one think im right or being picky?

ummm...what?

If you want an extra 4 pound a year thats up to you

"7 quid is all she asks for but everybody has got their vice!"

I'd ask yourself 'who's hurting more right now? Me or my ex?' If the answer is you, then 7 quid could mean alot, if the answer is him, then show some mercy.

What does money have to do with not seeing your son? I just don't know how you can justify wanting more money just because he missed seeing his son. You should be more worried about the emotional part of not seeing his dad and bug him more about seeing him more.

It just kind of sounds like you are saying "you don't have to pay me if you see your son but if you miss a visit it will cost ya 7 quid"

its not ?4 a year its ?80 and he hasnt even seen him for 2 weeks his choice,and never buy him anything, im nothurting im just a perfectionist and ?20 a month id ?87 a month

its not about the money but when hes just spent a long wkend in amsterdam and not seen his son, i just hate that he doesnt even see him for 2 wks doesnt even tex to ask how he is, i dont feel like i owe him any favours. To be truthful if he spend more time with his son that wud be gud enough for me

I can't stand fathers like that. I'm sure you are a good mother and hopefully some day he will see what he is missing in your son's life

I think you have to weigh up the situation rationally. Would demanding the extra ?7 a week put more strain on your relationship.. how will that affect your son. I know as well as anyone how every penny can count when you are in dire straights but if you can afford to live without it then I suggest it's more hassle than it's worth.

As for his trip away, well if he's earning his cash then I guess you just have to suck it up. He obviously does care about his son otherwise he wouldn't ever visit, and I'm guessing he does on a regular basis, also he is paying his maintenance. It must be frustrating for him to not to have regular access and he can't not ever go on holiday just because he might miss one visit. That's unrealistic and a tad unfair I think

Well, if you agreed to ?20 per week that works out to ?86.6666666 per month anyway. Who would give a rat's a** about ?.23333333 when it comes to taking care of a child anyway? Isn't that like pinching pennies? Sheesh!

J.R.

That amount should be per week and not month. Dear God, 80 pound a month is not enough to help raise a child.

Joany, don't worry, I think I get what you're asking, and why.
I was a single parent of three, and the ex' walked away from us all, no support, not even christmas or b'day cards. She was a wealthy accountant, and technically "owned and earnt" nothing, lol.
You are being entirely sensible, that little bit adds up, and will make a difference on a regular basis. An agreement is an agreement, though it sounds to me like it might be a good time to re-negotiate the amount, it ain't getting any cheaper, and kids are like cars, the bigger they are, the more they cost to run and maintain!
In the process you will be reminding him that he has obligations, life-long ones, and financial is only a small part of it.
I agree with DS, that sounds like a pittance, you should go for more!
Good Luck!