I miss my grandad

@crazychica Said

I haven't really seen him since me and my dad fell out which is now well over a year ago. I've seen him twice and I kind of talked to him on the phone. I'm not sure he's even talking to me which hurts a little. I love my grandad and I always have. He's a quiet, gentle man who is a lot more intelligent under the surface than he lets on. His political persuasions seem to still be left wing but as my mum pointed out that's the case with a lot of older men just because of the way they've been raised. I really miss him. I miss sitting through with him in the kitchen talking about pretty much anything, from arguing about the wind turbines up on the hills to agreeing that privatisation of national industries was a bad idea. It really hurts to think as well that he might not be talking to me any more.

@boobear Said

Hey, I'm sorry to hear you're hurting so much, I know how hard it is...my sis left home for 3 years and didn't speak to us...her and my mum got in touch through letters towards the end of that time...maybe you could do the same? I'm sure even if your Dad is initially irritated by it he'll soon calm down, he justs want you to be happy. And I'm sure your grandad feels as hurt and helpless as you do...

@crazychica Said

You do not know my dad. He's never treated me like his daughter except when it suited him. When I was little I started calling my uncle "daddy" because my dad left him and my grandparents with me when he had me and went off doing his own thing. His brothers don't even know we're not talking, he just tells them that I'm busy at uni and work and haven't been home much.

As for my grandad. The last time I talked to him I phoned the house. He didn't even answer my "how are you?" he just handed the phone over to my gran

@boobear Said

If your dad treats you that way, then why are you worried what he thinks? Sorry I didn't mean to come out quite as blunt as that but you know what I mean! One of my best friend's Dad is like that and she has nothing but utter contempt for him....I know blood is thicker than water sometimes but if he's treated you that way, you really shouldn't worry about his reaction to this because it sounds like he's done nothing to warrant your respect...

I would still say write a letter to your grandad, he's of that generation of men who aren't good at dealing with emotions and talking...if you write a letter you'll get chance to say everything without him passing the phone over, cutting you off etc, it will give him chance to think about everything you've said and let it sink in and make him stop and think about it. And if it comes to the worst case scenario and he doesn't read or respond you will feel better for writing it and getting it off your chest, also at least he'll know how you feel. If he doesn't respond you can't force him.....trust me it's much better to have a relationship with him if he wants it too, it will be just as hurtful to yourself if you have to force it out of him too much...concentrate on the members of your family and your friends who are there for you, they're the ones worth your time. Good luck, I wish you nothing but the best

@crazychica Said

Thanks. I really do dislike my dad (Mum says never to hate) and it's not him I'm bothered about but he was basically my link to the rest of my family. I love my mum's family and my step-dad's family and they've always been there for us but I still miss my grandad and I guess my uncles too.

@boobear Said

Do it, write the letters! It's nothing if not therapeutic for you

@crazychica Said

I haven't really seen him since me and my dad fell out which is now well over a year ago. I've seen him twice and I kind of talked to him on the phone. I'm not sure he's even talking to me which hurts a little. I love my grandad and I always have. He's a quiet, gentle man who is a lot more intelligent under the surface than he lets on. His political persuasions seem to still be left wing but as my mum pointed out that's the case with a lot of older men just because of the way they've been raised. I really miss him. I miss sitting through with him in the kitchen talking about pretty much anything, from arguing about the wind turbines up on the hills to agreeing that privatisation of national industries was a bad idea. It really hurts to think as well that he might not be talking to me any more.

@sTreetAngeL Said

Why should your falling out with your dad effect your relationship with your grand dad?
Hardly seems fair to me.