Ridiculous ways you've gotten injured

Only when I am wearing my blue dress and DT or Floydie whip me....

So this one time, I was using a whip and I raised my arm up to swing down, and I hear a thunk, but it never makes contact. Apparently mid swing the tassly part disconnected from the handle and went flying off in the opposite direction and I am left holding a useless tube...

No injuries that time though, unless you count laughing until it hurt.

Bacardi 151 will f*** you all kinds of up. I had a bottle of it in my possession over winter break, and I split it with my girlfriend on New Years eve at a party after having a few beers and some moonshine (I smoked a bowl earlier as well).

My alcohol tolerance is NOT high.

I do not remember leaving the New Years party.
I do not remember when midnight struck and all of Boston was screaming and making noise (Apparently I did kiss my girlfriend, so I did the romantic first new years kiss thing. That's good.)

I do not remember getting on the train.
I do not remember getting off the train either.


I woke up in in a Dominoes.
I woke up in a godforsaken Dominoes. At two in the morning.

There is never a good reason to be waking in a Dominoes.

We split a hot sauce and jalapeño pizza, and somehow ended up back at her dorm in the morning.

Okay... the first funny one (funny now) is when I was in 2nd grade....(fade to distant past)

My aunt was babysitting me and my sibs. She offered to give us ... I don't remember what it's called any more. . . It's when one person lays (lies?) on the ground with their feet up and you sit on the feet then they launch you into the air. It was Awesome to go flying through the air.

Well, I've always wanted to fly and I thought if I flapped my arms really, really hard I could do it. When she launched me in the air I did my best bird impersonation... but landed on my arm and broke my wrist.

We waited over 3 hours for my mom to show at the ER, the Doc had to re-break my wrist.

Good times... good times.

I didn't try to fly that way again. I tried it by jumping off the barn into hay piles. But no more arm flapping.

I ran into a parked car and impaled my leg.

I ran into a BBQ pit and burned my calve.

I ran whilst holding a chick, slid, and threw the chick. Scrapes for me, RIP little chick.

Bad things happen when I run.

When I was 19, I worked in a bar during school break. Normally, I'd drive into work but I had plans to meet up with friends that night. We had arranged for me to be picked up after work as I was going to have a few drinks.

Anyhow, my friend showed up on his motorcycle and had parked in the alley behind the bar. Can't remember what time I finished work but it was already dark and the alley was not very well lit.

My friend handed me the helmet which I had grabbed by the straps and quickly put it on without thinking. Immediately everything got so much darker and I could hear my friend laughing like a lunatic so I knew I'd done something stupid. I had put the helmet on back to front.

When my brain kicked into gear, I struggled so hard to get the helmet off with no help from my friend who was still cacking himself. I managed to lift it off over my nose but my hair somehow got tangled up in the visor and I couldn't pull it off completely.

After struggling further with the damn thing I tripped over my own feet and face planted the concrete. I cut the underside of my chin and bit the inside of my cheek when I hit the pavement, but on the upside the helmet came off completely.

No major damage except a slight scar which I still have under my chin.

At a drunken student party I got drawn into taking part in daft challenges and ended up accepting the Tea Tray Luge challenge. It was a simple enough challenge: Slide down the stairs sitting on a tea tray without falling off.

I nearly made it, only coming off the tray about three stairs from the bottom. However, even with a ridiculous amount of vodka and tequila circulating in my bloodstream, I still felt as if every vertebra in my spine had been shattered.

It hurt for days afterwards. I resolved to make sure that before I accepted any such challenges in the future, I would drink myself completely numb first.

Graduation Day couldn't come quickly enough for my liver.

I was about 12 at the time... It was Summer and I was bored. The front yard of our housing complex had a fence that I like walking on- it was a rail fence which is fun to balance on.

A young boy who lived in the housing complex walked quietly up behind me, I was concentrating because it was a thin board... He must have lost him mind for a few minutes but he followed that wild urge to shake the fence and make me fall.

You might think it no big deal for a girl to fall straddling a fence but it does hurt. Being young I was bruised but luckily I didn't need stitches for the large cut. I still have the scar...

I never actually got injured with this one but, i attended my cousins wedding about 2 years back. Anyway after the formal sit down, we had an after party type thing.
So i goes the bar and gets myself a drink, as i'm walking back to my table i slipped where someone else had just spilt theirs. It was right at one end of the dance floor, which had just been polished. Luckily i fell onto one knee as if i was proposing. Thanks to newly polished floor i stayed in this position until reaching the other end of the dance floor. Everyone actually thought it was some kind of "john travolta" move and started clapping and the dance floor filled up. I didn't even spill a drop of my drink and everyone thought i was amazing