Why People Hire

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There's a lot out there talking about why applying to job postings is a waste of time. And I agree.

The question many reasonably ask in response is, "OK, so what else am I supposed to do?"

My suggestion: hit the head.

Now hold that thought.

If you read my recent post on racketeers infiltrating the nation's offices like a trojan army, you know that there's no shortage of people making busy work their raison d'etre and that includes many hiring managers,

In my work starting a recruiting company, I can tell you I have spoken to more than a few of them.

"Yeah, I have a job req out there," they say, gazing lovingly at their navels, "but I'm just not in a lot of pain. I got the budget and I don't want to lose it. So I'm just kinda shopping."

Some consolation that is to the shmoe who spent hours researching the company and getting his suit pressed and maybe taking a day off his job to head to the interview.

So if you are looking for a job and don't want to waste your time, what should you do?

First, remember, a hire is a purchase. And people make purchases to solve problems.

Now someone might make an impulse purchase, like buy People Magazine at the checkout line, if the opportunity is there and there's little risk. But a bad hire can be expensive. So don't expect that if you are looking for a gig. That is, while they might give off buying signals-- like posting a job requisition--- that doesn't mean they are in any position to pull the trigger.

That's why you must screen for pain. Acute pain, specifically.

Back to the bathroom.

Imagine if your toilet were exploding. How long would you spend looking to hire a plumber? And how much would you care about the always-insightful interview questions making the rounds in many hiring organizations like "what animal would you be if you could be any animal?" (Side note: I worked with a woman who asked this exact question habitually. It's single-handedly the most inane, value-torching, groan-inducing thing I've personally witnessed as a professional adult.)

Answer: You wouldn't care.

You would hire the first guy or gal you could find that you trusted and, if you had a choice, offered a competitive rate. And maybe not even those last two qualifications.

You wouldn't ask him to bring a resume. You'd ask him to bring a wrench.

Let's face it. Interviews suck when it comes to predicting good hires. Even Google knows it. It just attracts a critical mass of awesome candidates that it really doesn't matter who it chooses as long as it makes the first few broad cuts.

For most every other company, you would think they would want a better way.

Indeed, some do.

I've spoken to hiring managers who run an end around on their HR departments and head to Craigslist to source their own candidates.

The loo is overflowing. They don't have time for the normal mishegas.

They don't care what animal you are. Unless it's a elephant with a septic-snaking trunk (though that's kinda gross when you think about it.)

In this regard, prospective employees are advised to look for those firms with exploding toilets.

By their very nature, in many companies, there's usually no time to scope out a job req when that water is on the cusp of cresting over the bowl.

Again, they want a problem solved. Hint: this is what is referred to when you hear about the hidden job market.

Think about the opposite. By the time an official job posting is out, it's often been vetted by sixteen sets of internal stakeholders so a temporary solution to the acute problem was probably figured out. But that mutes the need, making the job posting more of a backward looking document on what problems did exist in the recent past. This is why there are more jobs posted and they are taking longer to fill despite millions of people looking for work. If there was really a true need, you would think companies would be apt to train some of these folks in the time they are spending to just let the req remain open, right?

Again, when it doubt, look to the crapper.

I use the toilet analogy not to be crude, but because it's so visceral. We've all experienced it and we know how disgusting and action-inducing it is

It clarifies.

So if you are looking for a gig, here's my three step suggestion for screening for firms that might want you and won't waste your time:

1) Know how you could help them YESTERDAY. Don't talk about your work ethic or how you are a people person or any other bullsh*t. And don't even think about what the hiring firm can do for YOU for YOUR career development. No time for that. Maybe when the leak is fixed. Until then: what problem could you fix with little or no guidance from them that they desperately need remedied? The onus is on YOU to figure that out.

2) Look for roadblocks and steer clear. Liz Ryan has a good piece on this. Consider those roadblocks early warning signs. You wouldn't go out with someone who is talking about meeting the parents on the first date, would you? Avoid hiring organizations similarly. The minute they start talking about personality tests and several rounds of phone screens and things of that nature, abort. Peter Drucker said, "the ability to make good decisions regarding people represents one of the last reliable sources of competitive advantage since very few organizations are very good at it.” Amen to that. The good news: like any poor poker player bad hiring organizations broadcast tells like crazy. Take these signs as a gift and move on.

3) Present your solution (and be willing to offer a sample). A good professional is a consultant by nature. Again, you are being hired to solve a problem, to plug a leak. You are delivering value the hiring firm cannot or chooses not to easily do itself. It expects you to know better than them in these matters. So do that. Assess the situation, don't waste time, and say how and when you could get started. If they are still reticent and you have the inclination, be willing to do a minimal amount of the work for free to show your stuff. The hiring manager might not know you from Adam and your work history might not be enough to bridge the gap between what you have done for someone else and what you can do for them, even if the firms are similar. Think of it this way: the five-star restaurant and the fast food joint. Which one asks you to pay first before it delivers the goods?

All firms have problems or they wouldn't be businesses. They would be risk-free bonds and have no employees (and no need to hire). Your goal is to see which one of those problems you can solve. But first you have to make sure they want to solve them at all, by anyone, let alone you. Regrettably for investors and good faith acting employees at some firms, that's not always the case.

The sad truth is companies like those actually don't have exploding toilets because the john cracked long ago. Which just means the people who work there are content to wade through sh*t every day. And you certainly know better to avoid that.

@Corey Said

Employers do not hire people just to help the applicant or because they feel sorry for the applicant. So when planning what to say in your job interview do not say how bad you need the job, or how desperate you are for work, or for more money, or how long you have been looking for work. Employers only hire people for one reason, and that is the employer needs help to solve the company's problems. The employee is supposed to help the employer. So that should be the emphasis of the resume and the application. How you can help the company or help your boss. In return for your hard work you get a precious pay check.

Corey.

@mrmhead Said

years ago when job postings were written in these primitive communication devices called Newspapers ...

I answered a blind ad for a job that sounded right up my alley of what I was doing at the time.
A few days later my boss called me in asking why I was looking for a job, and I asked him why he was posting my job in the paper!
It wasn't too long after we parted ways - in fact the day he told me my days were numbered, I got a call-back from an interview - that number was 1!!

@mrmhead Said

years ago when job postings were written in these primitive communication devices called Newspapers ...

I answered a blind ad for a job that sounded right up my alley of what I was doing at the time.
A few days later my boss called me in asking why I was looking for a job, and I asked him why he was posting my job in the paper!
It wasn't too long after we parted ways - in fact the day he told me my days were numbered, I got a call-back from an interview - that number was 1!!