"With nothing more then an M4 and a Desert Eagle, I'll drop more people then AIDs and smoking combin"  xLETHAL_VIXENx
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Logical Alien
Your pants, United States (gen
Joined: Dec 2009 |
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| After my divorce, I'm starting over again... But it's not a double rainbow with a huge pot of gold, yet. July 25th, 2013 my husband of 5 years left me for someone I called my "friend". I was hurt. No, I was DISTRAUGHT! But, there was nothing I could do to save us, so I moved out. 8 months later, here I am, finally gained custody of my oldest daughter and now get child support. I live in TX with my boy friend and kids, I work as a server at a restaurant called Denny's, I am on Food Stamps and financial aid... I'm dragging us down with my drinking problem, I feel lost.
July 25th was the day everything changed, the day I lost a part of me, of who I am. I keep saying I hate my ex, I keep saying I've moved on, I keep saying I am perfectly fine... But my drinking says different. I try to quit, but I can't, I like forgetting my problems every single night. Of course it's only temporary, but drunk me doesn't know that.
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LuckyCharms
Magically Delicious
| I don't know if you still have me blocked, but I'm gonna give this a shot.
My thought is that you haven't acknowledged and forgiven yourself for where you went wrong. No, I'm not blaming you. I'm saying you are blaming you but haven't really accepted it and moved on. So you're stuck in guilt mode and you don't really know how to get out.
Divorce happens. Relationship f*** ups happen. It takes two (and yes, sometimes three) to tango. It seems to me that you have to admit where you went wrong and make some resolutions for yourself to protect your (and your children's) future best interests.
Anyway, I'm sorry to hear that it's been hard for you. I hope it gets better and if this is visible to you, I hope it helped.
[smile]https://i.tfster.com/i50/5/1/4/tfs_9b91ae3661da.gif"> |
xLETHAL_VIXENx
Logical Alien
| | Thanks, and you're not blocked. Don't know if I ever did block you. Anyways, s*** is just falling apart for me. I DO feel like I am to blame, but there is nothing I can do about it now. |
LuckyCharms
Magically Delicious
| There's always something you can do. It's just what you choose to do it about. Your ex is not something you can do anything about. And there's no point - that path has been marked and traveled.
You can, however, do many things about yourself, your attitude, your children and your current situation.
Don't shortchange yourself. You're too young to live life in a bottle. |
chaski
Stalker
| There is only one thing to do.
Suck it up, tough it out, and do the best you can.
You're a good person at heart, it will all come to you if you want... and work at it. |
restoreone
| | The first step to recovery in knowing you have a problem. Step 2 ? For my twins was going to AA MEETING . They found the strength to seek out help . What truly helped them was finding AA MEETINGS That was within their age group. |
yami
| Sorry to hear about what you are going through, change is always tough.
Good luck with dealing with the drinking problem I hope you get all the support and advice you need to get over it.
Don't hate though, it will eat you up, just try to forget and move on. |
Electric_Banana
| Cognitive and perceptive practices.
I've used sci-fi ideas to explain the world to myself in a way that is less offensive and removed a lot of my resentment.
For instance, once I locked in the probability that most around us may be more mechanical than natural I was less upset with the way others mishandled me and more amazed by what they were actually able to accomplish.
But you don't even have to go all Star-Trek and convince yourself that most you come in contact with might be androids in learning - You just simply need to stop placing people on par with yourself erroneously believing that they are as sophisticated in mind and heart.
Thus disappointment and disdain turning to empathy and understanding.
I don't mean to sound arrogant but, most of the time, we could be seeking deep, faithful, romance from Speak N Spells only to walk away hurt wondering why they did not share the same sentiment.
Meditation works wonders for calming the mind and practicing managing your psyche and emotion without the crutch of drugs and alcohol will eventually develop you further than most.
A lot of it is a head trick and cracking of old school thinking that takes everything seriously and leaves us a stressed mess.
Maybe just start by learning how to shut up that part of you that criticizes yourself or attempts to remind you of recent hurts and instead drown out that nagging with enjoyment of your current moment because it is usually those moments of peace that our minds tend to sabotage with crap that is all immaterial in the long run. |
yami
| @Electric_Banana Said 
Cognitive and perceptive practices.
I've used sci-fi ideas to explain the world to myself in a way that is less offensive and removed a lot of my resentment.
For instance, once I locked in the probability that most around us may be more mechanical than natural I was less upset with the way others mishandled me and more amazed by what they were actually able to accomplish.
But you don't even have to go all Star-Trek and convince yourself that most you come in contact with might be androids in learning - You just simply need to stop placing people on par with yourself erroneously believing that they are as sophisticated in mind and heart.
Thus disappointment and disdain turning to empathy and understanding.
I don't mean to sound arrogant but, most of the time, we could be seeking deep, faithful, romance from Speak N Spells only to walk away hurt wondering why they did not share the same sentiment.
Meditation works wonders for calming the mind and practicing managing your psyche and emotion without the crutch of drugs and alcohol will eventually develop you further than most.
A lot of it is a head trick and cracking of old school thinking that takes everything seriously and leaves us a stressed mess.
Maybe just start by learning how to shut up that part of you that criticizes yourself or attempts to remind you of recent hurts and instead drown out that nagging with enjoyment of your current moment because it is usually those moments of peace that our minds tend to sabotage with crap that is all immaterial in the long run.
Oh beam me up Scotty! |
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New Life, New Journey
February 19, 2014 @ 03:58:56 am
