"Ride The Wings Of Life, And Unleash Its Full Potential"  richy
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Some Personal Hell, United Kin
Joined: Feb 2006 |
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Below is a selection of writings from my break up a few weeks ago, (if you remember, or in the case you dont know, it was a year long relationship and definatly my first true love!) and in these writing i was able to find some sort of sanctury and also release for hatred, pain, and grief! hope you enjoy them, although some are very dark! I felt that sharing these writings will help me, and let me show how i can trully feel deep inside when im suffering at the hands of my depression! i hope to get some feedback, wether you liked the stuff or not!
hope you enjoy
first of all is a writing from less than an hour after the break up! as yet remains un-titled! i will state however that the grammer is poor, and i have problems even myself understanding what i was attempting to reach out to, within this writing as my state of mind at that point was clouded from my concious self, and just wrote what came into my head!
its these words i hate, the look upon the face of death flowing one side to the next as i drift to a state of one eternal hate.
thouse times we spent, huddled, cuddled, and smothered by love falling to a state that will haunt me forever.
try as i may i cant express, wanten feelings that cant express shame i will i feel no hate, only that which haunts me still.
shall unto this bed be cursed the feeling first shared unto that eternal curse.
it haunts me still what we have shared, and will forever be heard still.
i wished for one more kiss, but all i have to show, is that final bow, of still and bleeding red life.
maybe i shall not remain in this state, but return from whence, in this life i obtained this hate.
grant me one kiss i shall not, but retain glory, and hatred still. shall you ever i have feeling, except that of which im grieving!
the next piece is from a few days later, after i found out that my ex-gf had replaced me the same day of the break up with someone else.
The blanket of my hate
why is it, this pains me still, so the look upon my face has yet to change so i look back and turn to the light of my life. i hate the way it shines, the light of my life darkening day by day, by the blanket that is held over
oh i hate you, the blanket held over that light, the way it hides me from who i am, holding me from what i can achieve. i would kill, to see you now, show you how i feel, and feel your pulse fade away.
my light allthough short lived, burns brighter now, than yours has ever. oh how i wish i could destroy you, the way you destroyed me turn my life around and move on from the hate that burns, burns in the corner of my eye.
and to you the blanket, may my light burn you away and show you, show you that life is not a farce, but the way we all hurt, hurt each other, and the revenge of light upon the blankets that and the true lights within us.
may you burn away quietly, and take my dignity with before i repay the hate you have passed onto me.
the third and final piece for now comes from a couple of days after "the blanket of my hate" and comes at a point where suicide WAS an option on my mind!
this writing is still of yet un-titled!
the darkness of the figure standing tall in front of me. it haunts my heart, his face blackened, blackened by the souls he has taken.
the darkness it comes to me still seeking me, trying to hold me and take from me the least cherished of my gifts.
for unto whom, who may mish to take it upon to themselves, they may take it for what upon there bidding that they may wish to take my hearts and soul.
this chamber it awaits your cold touch to open it, and upon remove its dark, haunted soul.
i long to embrace his cold dark touch, and take me from this hated chamber. upon which if it be not not my time, i call you with the bleeding red life that pours from my wrists
but i beg you, upon your cold touch may i grace your blackened face, to see what upon you have hidden from me.
but the rams head that holds above my shoulder pulls me from this place and sends me to a place i have longed to embrace, free from chamber, and heart, and the pain that haunts me on this plain
take me now, and allow for me to be forever happy and forever at peace.
i beg of you! | |
ann
|  Sorry to hear about that.  But hey! cheer up your young, you'll meet someone soon. Have to addmit, I did not read all of it, cause it'll depressed me out.  |
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My Heart Still Bleeds
March 07, 2006 @ 09:57:05 pm
