"I drink your milk shake!"  operaghost
More Pics
Long Island, New York
Joined: Jul 2007 |
| |
|
Yes I did disappear for a bit. There had just been a lot going on and I tended to neglect my "online life". But I should be back now 
Also my myspace had been deleted but I am back on
https://www.myspace.com/0pera_Ghost
I've had quite an exciting month. I had the pleasure of meeting Arch Enemy a few weeks ago  no way to really sum that up except that it was just a completely unreal experience and they were awesome. I uploaded some pics from the meet I had with them. I also got to meet Dino of Divine Heresey and formerly of Fear Factory at that same show.
A few weeks before I met Ego Likeness & Voltaire... all the picture are being uploaded now.
Current Music: Ego Likeness - Save Your Serpent
| |
|
| I don't know what's worse. My best friend lying to me or my fiance.. | |
|
Things have gotten a lot less stressful and I think things will be ok. In other news my MySpace is now back. For reasons I had to delete it for a bit. Those of you who had friended me can refriend me again: https://www.myspace.com/0pera_ghost
Just reply here if you add me so I know who you are and I accept the add
Current Music: The Cure - Just Like Heaven
| |
|
Yep it's true. I am 24 today.. thanks for all the birthday wishes
For the first time I don't really care that it's my birthday? 
I mean it's a Monday to begin with (I hate Mondays) and I'm at work.
It's not like I can go out tonight and party... not that I would go out anyway.
Im not feeling much better than I did last week even thought I got more than enough sleep over the weekend.
For some reason my grandparents are coming down from Albany on Wednesday. I'm suspecting my grandfather is having heart problems again and that's the reason for the sudden trip. They never come down in the winter months. I'm worried.
I've also managed to completely isolate myself from any friends who have made contact with me over the past week. I don't know, I dont feel like myself and am tired of hearing how they want to help me. I appreciate but I'm tired of everyone in this "I can save you" type mood. I'm just in a crap mood and it's got to rid itself out.
The only thing I'm really looking forward to is my birthday present from Austin which won't be until 3/22. He got me tickets for La Traviata so I'm thrilled about that.
Now his birthday is in 2 1/2 months so I have to start brain storming on what to get him. Also think I may throw him a party since he is turning 25, NOW that's a milestone!
Maybe I'm just freaking out cause I'm 24 and am not exactly where I expected to find myself at this age.. not that I think I had a clue where I'd be to begin with.... but oh well
Happy B-Day to me 
Current Music: Happiness is a Warm Gun - The Beatles.
| |
|
I've been needing to go back to school to get my bachelors/masters. Problems is I need to have my full-time job along with it so I can keep my medical benefits.
I might have found a solution. But it is a big deal.
I found myself brain storming about what to do and I found a possible solution, even if it's not the right thing to do. I will be discussing it with Austin, my fiance, because he has a huge say in this.
As I've noted a million times before we don't have enough money to have a wedding or move in together as of yet and it will probably be a good 3-5 years worth of saving.
My idea is that we both keep out living situations as is for the time being. That meaning me at my home and he at his until we can get an apartment.
We will go to town hall on a day off and obtain our marriage license and, well... get married. Only we would not tell any of our friends and or family about it.
Why would I do this?
Because if we are married I am covered under his health benefits and would not have to worry and stress myself over having/finding a full-time job to work while doing school full-time.
I could get a part-time job and be a full-time student.
I don't know if he will be able to lie to his whole family and everyone we know. Sounds wrong but, I could. I have no problem with not telling anyone about our "secret marriage".
I can see him having another problem, he wants to have the whole big wedding thing and "do it right".
I don't even want a wedding reception, etc anymore. It's not a big deal to me. As long as we are together (and sometime in the next 12 months living together) I am fine with the arrangement.
We can at a later date have a "ceremony" and small party for our family claiming that as our wedding day....
Would it be so wrong? | |
|
Just to clarify for anyone who thinks I may have unfriended them from my myspace, that is not the case.
I've deleted my account. I see no purpose in having an online account/profile/social network, etc that I don't use and rarely even check. No need for it to exist and anyone I do speak with had other means on contacting me.
Maybe I'll one day change my mind, but as of now I just don't feel a need for it in my life.
Perhaps it's this funk I'm stuck in. I don't want to be around my friends or people, I'm constantly feeling upset or depressed with little or no reason.
I spend most of my day trying to figure out what to do with my life.
I have no idea what to go back to school for.. if I could afford to take a lesser paying job w/ less hours to do so.
I just feel absolutely lost.
Current Music: Alice Smith - Dream
| |
|
That I'm a selfish b****.
Yep. That's me.
I've been dreading meeting up with one of my friends recently cause I know what she's going to tell me. That her & her man are going to moving in together, their gonna start planning their wedding and how her parents are going to pay for the wedding, etc etc....
I just can't be happy for her cause I can'thave these things.
I'm not going to be able to get my own place with my fiance anytime soon and well no one is able to pay for our wedding. I just feel like everything for us is a f***ing struggle and some people get everything just too easy.
I really want to punch myself in the face for this, she's one of my good friends and I just cannot be happy for her.
I know she's got nothing to do with my current situation.. but I know when I hear it I'm going to have to fake being happy for her. Some part of me tells me she's going to see right through it.
What the hell is wrong with me... I should be happy for her, but I just feel intense jealousy and almost hate.....
I haven't been in the best mind set as of lately either with my moods and thoughts sky rocketing and then sinking faster than the titanic. Oh well. | |
|
Yep. Tomorrow night I will be seeing the one, the only.. Siouxsie Sioux.
I'm uber excited
Current Music: Siouxsie & The Banshees - We Hunger
| |
|
I swear this woman is going to push me over the edge with her ridiculous demands and her behavior. I think she's trying to push me so that I'll leave her son.
She's freaking out because after years of subsituting and monopolizing her kids time for a failed marriage (that she is still in btw), her son is engaged to me and doesn't spend as much time with her and the family as he used to. He's 24 years old.
There is nothing wrong with doing dinner with his mom once & awhile, she expects us to constantly do it and we are the ones who end up footing the bill for her share and the 16 year old daughters.
She thinks that if we are going out somewhere we should invite her. Seriously, she complained that we didn't invite her or her 16 year old daughter to go bowling with me, my fiance & some of our friends. Yes. That's right. A grown 57 year old woman wanted to hangout with her 24 year old son, his fiance and their friends.
She has no friends of her own, makes no attempt to even try.
Her 16 year old daughter is getting the worse of it right now. Poor girl isn't allowed to hangout with her friends after school or on the weekends.. it's very rare that she is allowed. There is always some false excuse as to why she can't hang out with this one or thatone.
My fiance & I wanted to take his sister over to Flushing for Bubble tea a few weekends ago. His mother wouldn't let us take her, we didn't know why. Apparently it was because we DIDN"T INVITE HER.
Sure none of this is directed at me, if I were to put everything she does I'd have 50 pages worth of nonsense.
She's always finding a way to put my fiance down. She's always praising his older brother.. the one who is in & out of jail, is a drug dealer, got a girl pregnant and doesn't stay with her, among countless over things. Need I also mention that older brother got arrested and mom in-law had to use money she saved fora down payment on a house as his bail money. She never got it back because he skipped out of town for his hearing. Yet this son is the golde god. Not my fiance who has a steady job, is engaged, is getting all his finances in line to get a car and be on his own two feet.
She wonder's why the oldest son doesn't want anything to do with her and moved on the opposite side of the country. She wasn't even invited to his wedding, wonder why?
Now her current husband (my fiance's stepfather, this is his mother's 5th marriage) and her fight all the time. She now says when she gets her tax check back she's going to move out.
We hope she does....
Boy I needed to vent a bit there... | |
|
Current Music: Sarah Brightman - Symphony
| |
Pages: Prev | Next |
I've been MIA for a bit but I am back
