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On October 23, 2021 markfox01


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innit!



Welshman in Brum.., United Kin
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markfox01
TFS Journal
Life and all that Jazz...
August 12, 2008 @ 10:44:12 am
You know if its not one thing its another and then another... This year has been f***ing terriable and its getting worse, and you know I look back on my life and think... well to be honest my life hasnt really been a bed of roses..

You I hated school when I was there, I honestly hated the people I was with, I hated learning I hated everything about it, and yet... looking back on it.. f*** it was an easy time compared to now...
But thats my life, every year there is a new challenge bigger than the last.. one year it maybe a credit card problem, then the next year im single then the next year I lose my job, then the next year something bigger then again bigger... every bloody year there is something, but this year there has been more than one big problem.. and it all revolves around f***ing money lately.. money I dont either have or never had.. its just getting on my tits in all honesty.

I look around the people I know and yes they have there problems too, but some of them the biggest pressing issue is who do they go on a date with? or what night shall they get drunk.. life pressures havent hit them yet..
I look at my life and think.. jesus, all i have done is fight.. day in day out.. fight for to pay bills.. fight to live, fight to survive.. thats all I have done.. fight for qualifications against all odds.. just fight.. fight.. fight.. fight..

Yes the challenges create who we are, and what we become.. but I am so tired of fighting what ever is in front of me. Ive tried embrassing life and yet I get stitched up with something, I let my guard down and some one sucker punches me, reminding me that I have to keep fighting... but..

I am sick of fighting to be happy, to have money in the bank.. to have what I want.. i am sick of wondering why I am fighting to what end? it seems endless these fights.. when will I be happy and have something that i can stamp on and call mine. When will that day come? or have I been watching too many disney films.


BUT I guess... the only thing I know what to do is keep fighting, I guess people like me fight to live so that other people dont have too.

Maybe my day will come.

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treebee

Government Hooker

Moderator
New Post! August 12, 2008 @ 10:58:41 am
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Try and take enjoyment in the simple things Mark, like stretching, you ever watch a cat stretch? it must feel so good doesnt cost a bean. Think about things like a great cup of coffee you are drinking, savour how it tastes. When the sky is blue go out and look into it, put your feet in some sand or on the grass. Think about how great it feels when you take your shoes off after a long hard day, or how that cold beer feels when you are hot and bothered.

Its so easy to take it all for granted and get whirled up in the bullsit and you may thing im just spouting hippie crap or i over did it on the valium, but really if you can appreciate the very small things in life perhaps some of the big things will suddenly have answers to them.


markfox01

innit!

New Post! August 12, 2008 @ 11:29:18 am
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@treebee Said
Try and take enjoyment in the simple things Mark, like stretching, you ever watch a cat stretch? it must feel so good doesnt cost a bean. Think about things like a great cup of coffee you are drinking, savour how it tastes. When the sky is blue go out and look into it, put your feet in some sand or on the grass. Think about how great it feels when you take your shoes off after a long hard day, or how that cold beer feels when you are hot and bothered.

Its so easy to take it all for granted and get whirled up in the bullsit and you may thing im just spouting hippie crap or i over did it on the valium, but really if you can appreciate the very small things in life perhaps some of the big things will suddenly have answers to them.


I used to when i lived back home in west wales.. look up at a star lite night.. and be stunned in the universe and life.... I think thats what was my blue sky, treebs.. I dont see the stars anymore.. Bristol is like london, you be lucky to see venus raising..

But you are like always right. I knda depend on you sometimes to make me stop and think. Thanks treebs. I will stop and think.


treebee

Government Hooker

Moderator
New Post! August 12, 2008 @ 11:38:11 am
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@markfox01 Said
I used to when i lived back home in west wales.. look up at a star lite night.. and be stunned in the universe and life.... I think thats what was my blue sky, treebs.. I dont see the stars anymore.. Bristol is like london, you be lucky to see venus raising..

But you are like always right. I knda depend on you sometimes to make me stop and think. Thanks treebs. I will stop and think.


This is easier said than done, but when i have a lot getting on top of me, particularly financial s*** or i have commitments i do not want to honour but i HAVE to, i tend to get either extremely irritable or i become quite depressed.

I have found that dealing with one thing at a time helps. I know this doesnt appease everyone but I generally insist that i will get around to doing what they want if i am left free to get things done one at a time. Of course everyone screams that thier cause has priority of your time and attention and wallet over everyone elses.

The point is if you try and please them all at once, nobody will be happy because they will all get a half-assed rushed job. So you have to make people see that by releasing a little pressure on you will bring them better results than pushing you to breaking point.

Take it a day at a time and try and concentrate on one thing at a time. Make a priority list. When your mind starts to wander from the problem in hand ie: "well its all very well getting this done but as soon as its done i have another 10 people to pay/ jobs to do" focus your thought back on the one thing that you are managing to complete. One less thing off the list.

Sometimes looking at the whole picture can be too hard to take, so deal with it like a jigsaw - AND take some pleasure in life.


sillygoosey

New Post! August 12, 2008 @ 01:15:02 pm
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Treebs is right
...when you're thinking about jumping out of a window, stop, look around you and think about all of the fights you've won, think about how you kept getting back up and not letting go of what you wanted.

Everything in your life that you have is a fight that you've won...count those and see how much life is worth fighting for.

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