The end of school isn't coming fast enough. I would much prefer to take a .22 and stick a slug deep within my brain than go back. Exams are at the end of the month and I am still hopeless at both subjects I have exams for. I really don't want to, but I kinda hate my friends right now because they are so much smarter than me. They understand everything and they end up as honors students without batting an eye. I, however, have a fracking tutor and I am still probably going to fail the damned subject. I know that I won't be able to get a PhD in forensic anthropology like I plan to because I am simply not smart enough. I don't know what to do as an alternative because everything else doesn't interest me the way anthropology does.
Not only that but my friends are all fracking skinny and could get any guy they wanted, but they stay single because they just don't see anyone they really like. I have struggled with my weight for years and am still a chunky person despite my best efforts. I'm not gifted in the looks department either.
I really don't want to be self hating right now but it seems like there really is no up side to this damned situation. |