So I let the girl of my dreams slip through my hands slowly. I had every chance to grab her, take the chance that was provided several times. Did I do that? Not at all. Chalk it up to nervousness or wanting a better time to ask (possibly an excuse for being nervous), I let the opportunity go. After being mad, sad and beating myself up over it (not literally) I was sick. Not physically, but sick with myself. Angry at myself for stewing in a vat of self-pity and anger. I told myself to shape up and get my act together. It wasn't the end of the world if I worked hard at it. So I thought of how I could hook up with her when I only knew where she worked. Answer was simple, get my farking liscence. So now I am more motivated than before to get good grades for the discount for car insurance, and to complete the workbook that gives an additional discount. I put my toxic mindset behind and am actually doing something productive with a good motivation.

And it feels much better than that sea of self-pity anger and misery I was in before.