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On December 01, 2009 ikswelapo

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Monroe, Michigan
Joined: Jun 2005

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Am I Being Stupid For Thinking This???
January 20, 2006 @ 12:48:59 am
My boyfriend and I are always fighting about this topic. Money. Hes always wanting to pay for everything and i i cant afford something he is always up to buying me stuff, but, i never let him. Yes, i let him pay for movies and meals and stuff. But other times i would be talking to him about how bad i want something and hes always saying how he will buy it for me, and i tell him no, and i always tell him not to get me anything for hoildays. My reason to him is that im not worth it. I come from a family that my mom doesnt like buying me things, even if i need it. and my dad doesnt live with me. So im not use to getting things, and getting things that i want all the time would just seem odd to me, unless i earned it. Hes always telling me that im worth every cent he has, but i just dont believe him. am i being the selfish one here? am i wrong? or is this perfectly normal?

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New Post! January 20, 2006 @ 12:51:40 am
lol i myself dont like taking things from other people i feel the need to get my own things but this is ure bf and im sure he loves you and he wants to treat you nice so let him once in awhile lol


New Post! January 20, 2006 @ 12:52:45 am
It's normal if you come from a background where you don't get alot of 'stuff' all the time. It's hard to accept things from people; it always feels like charity.
Just tell him you think it's really sweet of him, but it makes you uncomfortable when he talks about spending money on you. I dunno...


New Post! January 20, 2006 @ 12:55:15 am
I think you could be being a little bit selfish , i mean, if u never got thing from youre parents why aint you loving all the gifts youre boyfriend i s giving you


New Post! January 20, 2006 @ 12:57:49 am
He doesnt get me things, i tell him not to get me things, but when he does get me things trust me i love them. but is it selfish to tell him not to get me things because he actully buys them??


New Post! January 20, 2006 @ 01:00:38 am
im the exact same way. i hate getting things i havent worked for. but hes your bf, and it seems like he really likes you. maybe talk to him about it, explain. dont tell him plain out not to buy you things, just tell him not to do it so often because you feel bad you cant get him anything


New Post! January 20, 2006 @ 01:10:10 am
Sometimes it's hard when you've done without to get past feeling like a charity case.

Look at it from a different angle. Do you enjoy giving a gift? Doesn't it make you feel good. Think of how you would feel if people always gave them back and told you to bugger off.

Unless you feel he is trying to buy your love then I say to take the gift and say thank you!! Recieve it graciously and enjoy it. (You'll get used to it)

Don't think so little of yourself. You are worth giving to


New Post! January 20, 2006 @ 01:28:33 am
@tlynn Said
Don't think so little of yourself. You are worth giving to

Thank you.

And I try not buy her things too often, for the obvious reason, I usually keep it to holidays or other special occasions, or souvenirs from a place (I recently was dragged to Disney World with my family, she got some things from there). She will be getting something small for Valentine's Day, I'm not sure what yet, but I promise not to spend too much.


New Post! January 20, 2006 @ 01:33:34 am
Well I see this from a few angles. You need to get over the "Im not good enough" thing. OBVIOUSLY he thinks you are. And if he wants to get you things its cool as long as thats not how he shows love (some men dont understand that presents DONT = love) Then lastly, as long as you arent using his generosity to get things you want....then I think its fine. Things are complicated. He needs to respect your wishes too though...if you really dont like it, tell him so.


New Post! January 20, 2006 @ 04:03:05 am
I know what you mean! My bf is like that too! He doesn't let me buy him anything, and he acts all weird and sad when I do, like he feels bad that I'm broke and he's not really. But I say just go with it and enjoy it while you can, and be guy loves that when I act all sheepish and surprise me with something I wanted. But I do have to sit him down and really talk him through this, and let him know that it's upsetting and being demeaning


New Post! January 20, 2006 @ 04:07:48 am
Well you are clearly not for sale and very interested in your own self respect. Good for you.
In my experience all the best gifts I ever got were inexpensive and usually things my kids
made themselves.... I can see the boyfriends point of view, he wants to show you he loves
you by buying things. Get him to show you he loves you by making your time together a
quality experience, by being loving and considerate, and not have your relationship pivot on
acquiring bric a brac. And keep sticking up for yourself.... I think your whole attitude
demand, earns, and will get .... respect

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