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On September 15, 2013 iamachicken


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It Burns In, California
Joined: Aug 2010

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Does this make me a bad person?
March 26, 2013 @ 05:47:44 am
A girl who goes to a nearby high school recently passed away due to a hiking accident, and a Facebook page was made in honor of her by her friends. As all Facebook pages pertaining to the sudden death of a pretty girl, it pretty much went viral, especially within the San Gabriel Valley area (which is where I live). Countless strangers were leaving comments expressing their deepest condolences, which is nice of them, and I'm glad no one's trolling the page or anything (yet). However, what does bother me is that people who have never even heard of her until they saw that page were writing poems about her. I know I sound b****y, but please hear me out.

Let's get this out of the way: I did not know this girl - never met her in my life - and the only reason I know of her at all is because of Facebook. However, I do feel bad that she died so young. She was, afterall, only seventeen years old and didn't even get to experience adulthood yet. I'm not saying everyone should feel apathetic about her death or anything. However, it bothers me that people who, like me, have never met her in their lives, are writing poems and posting them because to me it only looks like they're doing it for attention. I don't know if others feel this way as well or if I'm just being extremely pessimistic, but I feel as though they are using this girl's death to put themselves in the spotlight. It's not just this incidence, either, where people post poems or photoshop pictures of the person saying "she was so beautiful. RIP". Every page I've seen in honor of someone who died prematurely has someone who never even knew the person do something like that. Okay, I have absolutely no problem with people writing "my deepest condolences" or "She is in a better place now. May she rest in peace". However, poems and editing photos of that person seems a bit more like a cry for attention like, "Look at me! I'm such a great person because I'm going out of my way to honor this person who I don't even know!" I'm sure they do sincerely care about the dead person, but at least part of their motive, I believe, has something to do with wanting people to notice them. Please tell me if you agree/disagree with me.

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Eaglebauer

Moderator
New Post! March 26, 2013 @ 06:05:00 am
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I can see the irritation, yes. I do think it's okay if someone who doesn't know her yet can identify with what happened does something like that...like if someone lost a loved one in the same way it might be healing in a way to share that experience even if the tribute is to a stranger, but for the most part I think people in this day and age have a tendency to become involved in the drama of things that don't necessarily have anything to do with them because...let's face it...a lot of the people in our culture are self centered and strive to get the attention in everything. A close friend of mine lost a sister a few years ago in a car accident and it was really sad because she barely had any friends and he ended up asking me to be a pall bearer, so I helped carry this woman I barely knew to her grave. There were people there who were friends of his, not hers but his, who knew her less than I did giving these overly sappy speeches to be the center of everything. It was sick.


iamachicken

New Post! March 26, 2013 @ 06:21:34 am
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@Eaglebauer Said

I can see the irritation, yes. I do think it's okay if someone who doesn't know her yet can identify with what happened does something like that...like if someone lost a loved one in the same way it might be healing in a way to share that experience even if the tribute is to a stranger, but for the most part I think people in this day and age have a tendency to become involved in the drama of things that don't necessarily have anything to do with them because...let's face it...a lot of the people in our culture are self centered and strive to get the attention in everything. A close friend of mine lost a sister a few years ago in a car accident and it was really sad because she barely had any friends and he ended up asking me to be a pall bearer, so I helped carry this woman I barely knew to her grave. There were people there who were friends of his, not hers but his, who knew her less than I did giving these overly sappy speeches to be the center of everything. It was sick.



Oh yeah if they've had something similar happen then I completely understand. But when that does happen, it wouldn't usually be a really long poem about how beautiful the person was, right? It would just be a normal paragraph. Those are great because it's a bit like group therapy.

I'm sorry that had to happen! If they can see how awful they look from sane peoples' perspectives they'd definitely stop.


Eaglebauer

Moderator
New Post! March 26, 2013 @ 06:32:02 am
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@iamachicken Said

Oh yeah if they've had something similar happen then I completely understand. But when that does happen, it wouldn't usually be a really long poem about how beautiful the person was, right? It would just be a normal paragraph. Those are great because it's a bit like group therapy.

I'm sorry that had to happen! If they can see how awful they look from sane peoples' perspectives they'd definitely stop.



No you're right...it's different to share an experience than it is to try to showcase talent.

And then there are people like the comedian Jakov Smirnoff who defected here from communist USSR in the 70s. He's also an accomplished painter, and when the towers fell in 2001, he painted a tribute piece to the victims and then spent 100,000 dollars of his own money to have it converted to a mural sized image which was hung on one of the damaged skyscrapers near ground zero until 2003.

The important part of that story, is that he agreed to have it hung there only if his name was kept anonymous.

THAT is how you pay tribute.


boobagins

SPICY HOT TAMALES

New Post! March 26, 2013 @ 02:59:39 pm
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Some do it for attention, yes. But some people are generally just people that do feel a great compassion for people. One of my co-workers went to a funeral of a young girl who was the daughter of a friend of a friend that twice came to her church. She really didn't know these people, but she went because she wanted to show support and the family were touched. But then, my friend is someone that would do these kinds of things.


iamachicken

New Post! March 27, 2013 @ 03:11:35 am
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@boobagins Said

Some do it for attention, yes. But some people are generally just people that do feel a great compassion for people. One of my co-workers went to a funeral of a young girl who was the daughter of a friend of a friend that twice came to her church. She really didn't know these people, but she went because she wanted to show support and the family were touched. But then, my friend is someone that would do these kinds of things.



I think your co-worker's case is a little bit different, though. Attending a funeral is definitely showing sincere support. However, I'm sure she didn't recite an emotional speech or deliver a poem there. Now that, in my opinion, is a cry for attention. By the way it was very nice of her to be supportive the girl's family. You're lucky to know such a good person.


LuckyCharms

Magically Delicious

New Post! March 27, 2013 @ 03:19:38 am
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No. It doesn't make you a bad person. If you trolled the page then you'd be a bad person.

I'd say your reaction is rational and on target.


psycoskunk

Funky-Footed Skunk

New Post! March 27, 2013 @ 04:48:53 am
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No, you're not a terrible person.

Horses are terrible people.



boobagins

SPICY HOT TAMALES

New Post! March 27, 2013 @ 05:07:36 pm
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@iamachicken Said

I think your co-worker's case is a little bit different, though. Attending a funeral is definitely showing sincere support. However, I'm sure she didn't recite an emotional speech or deliver a poem there. Now that, in my opinion, is a cry for attention. By the way it was very nice of her to be supportive the girl's family. You're lucky to know such a good person.



Trust me when I say it was almost a funeral crash. Even she can't believe she did it. Anywho, the point was, that not all people who do these types of things are screaming for attention.


Reviso

New Post! March 27, 2013 @ 05:15:22 pm
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I tought the structure of the responses to journals could have been the last reply being paced directly under the actual journal. That would allow the whole "troll' thing to be meaningless for the "someone else looking at the whole thing idea." excuse me

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