"the fox people say their crazy like...well, it's me :)"  foxytrot
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Turtle Ninja
Oceanside, California
Joined: Aug 2008 |
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So my ex and I were together for five years. The first three years were amazing. We moved to Oklahoma for his career and I was there for two years. He was a Marine Corps recruiter, and I followed.
In the gist we did not last. I met one of his flings who he recruited into the corps but got kicked out of basic and she was only 18 at the time. I met a few others and heard from even more. I had put my all into it, and got my little heart broke of course. He blamed me for being at work too much (I was a manager in a retail store and pretty much lived there and at one point worked two full-time jobs just for money so we could go out together and have fun)
Finally had enough in November after a huge blowout where he threw my fine china all over the kitchen floor and blamed me for not getting over his mistakes.
I met a guy the beginning of this year who has the perfect balance of things in common and things not in common. Our personalities match great! We have to do a lot of traveling to see each other because he's from the UK 
Anyway, my ex, who at one point I would have done anything for calls me and ask why I haven't gone home yet. Like back to Oklahoma. He keeps texting from numbers I don't know, Facebook messaging, calling, whatever about how sorry he is and how he wants forever with me. Blah, blah, blah....he knows I'm still not fully over it. It was a long time!
So, why be sweet now!? And I hate that it still bothers me. Why are people so evil!? I told him it's not happening, and that I could talk to him without hating him, but I will never be with him again. Now all of a sudden he is being vefry sweet, and flirtatious with me like the first three years and said it's becuase he no longer has stress from being a recruiter....I feel like I'm in progress of messing up a good relationship by even talking to him, but at the same time, he was a friend before a boyfriend...and this sucks! | |
restoreone
| | So let me get this right. You want to stay friends with a guy who lied to you cheated on you. Has angry issues. Throwing china in a fight is that I hope you know. The SEX must have been great. |
Leon
| Run! As far away from him as you can. Block every phone number, email, and messaging account that you know of his, and keep doing that as more pop up, and, most importantly by far.....NEVER, EVER, ever, ever, ever, ever respond to anything he writes or says to you.
Just for clarity: NEVER. |
Leon
| | Also, use this new guy for a rebound if you need to, but don't get serious with him or anybody until you have gotten over your ex. Be clear with him about that. He needs to understand that and be patient about that. Heck, that could even be a test to see if he really does care if he's willing to wait (although I wouldn't hold it against him if he cannot - it's a lot to ask for from guys). |
FinchMeister
R8UpLittleTramps@ss
| | I have some advice for you . LEAVE HIS ASS!!!! |
foxytrot
Turtle Ninja
| @Leon Said 
Also, use this new guy for a rebound if you need to, but don't get serious with him or anybody until you have gotten over your ex. Be clear with him about that. He needs to understand that and be patient about that. Heck, that could even be a test to see if he really does care if he's willing to wait (although I wouldn't hold it against him if he cannot - it's a lot to ask for from guys).
@Leon Said
At least you have a guy you can pile those rebound emotions on. Many girls do not. I cannot stress enough not responding to him. It's the only way he will stop. He will eventually if you do, but but if you fail even once, then you have to start all over again on that.
I don't believe in rebound and he knows what I broke up with. We are giving until next spring to make anything official, I'm venting because even though no one knows I'll respond to my ex, I feel guilty because I like this other guy very much  It's like my ex knew when to start being nice to mess with me 
@FinchMeister Said
I have some advice for you . LEAVE HIS ASS!!!!
I left a while ago, he just keeps popping up. There is a good 2000 miles between us now, but it's just the fact I'm still in the process of detachment, and that's what sucks! When he all of a sudden starts being the guy I fell in love with in the first place after a catastrophic break up baffles me! There's much more to it, that's the gist. I've pretty much been a ghost for two years  |
Cas
| | Have you thought about just changing your number and blocking him on Facebook and any other social sites? This guy sounds toxic. |
yami
| | He had his chance and blew it. I am sorry but you did everything to make it work and a moved when he asked you to, changed jobs when he wanted to. I really think you should avoid contact with him until you are completely over him and settled with this new guy, if you don’t you may end up in an awful situation. I’m glad that he trying to be friends with you now, he does owe you an apology and I hope he has grown up and stopped throwing things around. |
sTreetAngeL
root tedt ree
| He may have BEEN a friend, but he's not your friend now. A friend wouldn't hurt you the way he has.
He knows he still has power over you - AND, that you need separation from contact with him in order to get OVER him. That is why he contacts you from numbers you don't recognize...It's all very 'self f***ing centered' and manipulative.
I would take the bull by the horns and just tell him there's a new guy in your life whom you're in love with; and for him to not contact you again. Ever.
Then work on getting him completely out of your system, and giving the proper attention to the guy who deserves it - the one who treats you RIGHT.
So what if you were with the first guy a "long time"? What does that change?? - Other than to make you his fool for a longer period; and he expects you to continue being.
And lets fact it, he's NOT going to change. Especially. If you take him back. It will just show him how weak you are; that he is more important to you than yourself, or your own feelings/self respect; and he'll continue on with his ways for AS long as he can get away with it. - Longer!
Seriously. You are just pining for a once upon a time relationship which never really was.
The HIM you speak of in your OP is the REAL deal. |
foxytrot
Turtle Ninja
| @Cas Said
Have you thought about just changing your number and blocking him on Facebook and any other social sites? This guy sounds toxic.
@yami Said
He had his chance and blew it. I am sorry but you did everything to make it work and a moved when he asked you to, changed jobs when he wanted to. I really think you should avoid contact with him until you are completely over him and settled with this new guy, if you don’t you may end up in an awful situation. I’m glad that he trying to be friends with you now, he does owe you an apology and I hope he has grown up and stopped throwing things around.
@sTreetAngeL Said
He may have BEEN a friend, but he's not your friend now. A friend wouldn't hurt you the way he has.
He knows he still has power over you - AND, that you need separation from contact with him in order to get OVER him. That is why he contacts you from numbers you don't recognize...It's all very 'self f***ing centered' and manipulative.
I would take the bull by the horns and just tell him there's a new guy in your life whom you're in love with; and for him to not contact you again. Ever.
Then work on getting him completely out of your system, and giving the proper attention to the guy who deserves it - the one who treats you RIGHT.
So what if you were with the first guy a "long time"? What does that change?? - Other than to make you his fool for a longer period; and he expects you to continue being.
And lets fact it, he's NOT going to change. Especially. If you take him back. It will just show him how weak you are; that he is more important to you than yourself, or your own feelings/self respect; and he'll continue on with his ways for AS long as he can get away with it. - Longer!
Seriously. You are just pining for a once upon a time relationship which never really was.
The HIM you speak of in your OP is the REAL deal.
You guys are really good for my emotional crisis Thanks! And street, you're so right....thanks for pointing this ,".... and giving the proper attention to the guy who deserves it - the one who treats you RIGHT."...It's very true.
He's blocked, everythings ultra private setting and number changed It's really like detoxing almost
Thanks for getting my head straight everyone!  |
yami
| @foxytrot Said
You guys are really good for my emotional crisis Thanks! And street, you're so right....thanks for pointing this ,".... and giving the proper attention to the guy who deserves it - the one who treats you RIGHT."...It's very true.
He's blocked, everythings ultra private setting and number changed It's really like detoxing almost
Thanks for getting my head straight everyone!
You are welcome, it's a pleasure to help. |
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Just Venting!
June 28, 2013 @ 12:46:42 am
